Well i know that this is not an original scrip but i can't help it this song is so close to my heart and aptly describes my life so far with very few moments outside the purview of the lyrics here...so here it is UNWELL by MatchBox 20
All day, Staring at the ceiling
Making friends with shadows on my wall
All night, Hearing voices telling me
That I should get some sleep
Because tomorrow might be good for something
Hold on, I'm feeling like
I'm headed for aBreakdown, I don't know why
I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell
I know, right now you can't tell
But stay awhile and maybe then you'll see
A different side of me
I'm not crazy, I'm just a little impaired
I know, right now you don't care
But soon enough you're gonna think of me
And how I used to be
Me
Talking to myself in public
Dodging glances on the train
I know, I know they've all been talking 'bout me
I can hear them whisper
And it makes me think there must be something wrong
With me, Out of all the hours thinking
Somehow, I've lost my mind
I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell
I know, right now you can't tell
But stay awhile and maybe then you'll see
A different side of me
I'm not crazy, I'm just a little impaired
I know right now you don't care
But soon enough you're gonna think of me
And how I used to be
I been talking in my sleep
Pretty soon they'll come to get me
Yeah, they're taking me away
I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell
I know, right now you can't tell
But stay awhile and maybe then you'll see
A different side of me
I'm not crazy I'm just a little impaired
I know, right now you don't care
But soon enough you're gonna think of me
And how I used to be
Hey, how I used to be
How I used to be, yeah
Well I'm just a little unwell
How I used to be
How I used to be
Wednesday, December 26, 2007
Sunday, December 23, 2007
Where am i headed
I am a dreamer.Always have been.Starting right from my school years when i dreamt of making it big.I have to admit i dreamed of being famous in school.But never got around to being one.Consoling myself that things would change once i enter college.After all 'HUM HUM HAIN BAKI SAB PAANI KAM HAI'.So passed away the final year of school.
Come college and i was all excited about being truly independent about doing what i wanted to do thru the day rather than sit in a room doing what others wanted me to do.But reality struck the situation wasn't much different.With the result oriented Educational Field in the country how can one expect to sit back and let others run ahead.So came the rat race.attending all classes and running here n thr for the notes.My dream of being famous took many turns and changes first was performing in cultural events which i turned down on my account.You can say i was sy but i wd term it more as a fear of being laughed at.
I admit it thr ws this insecurity tht hass stopped me time n again frm showing my talents/even participating (ok).....but then i though tht if i really want to be famous thn i must get to knw a lot of seniors and tht requires work so i set out tryin my hand at volunteering for Fests n all.
But that too didnt materialise over the next 2 yrs.
Slowly my dream faded away and i accepted the reality tht i wsn't to be the one who every1 knew.I like many others was just anthr guy.Nothin special in me to showoff as it is.my focussed shifted from college to the next level i knew tht i wd have to do wll in job/MBA to get noticed nd took heart in tht.
But let me state here for the record that all my life everything i have done has been for a purpose not for the heck of it.I do things only if thy give me something back in return otherwise not.Call it selfishness but i say its th truth with every1 doing the same thing.im nt ashamed of it.
This is not to say that i dnt help out people.I do as much as i can but it has a hidden reason behind it.I like the good feeling you get when you help people.I like it how i feel having hekped some1 out.
coming back to subject at hand colg got over job began but again i missed out but i guess i cdnt help it thr isnt much to do here to really call urself famous.So i dnt care..But i have a dream tht was structured when i read a line that has been in my head ever since.what i do in life is inconsequential as long as whatever i do makes a difference to even 1 person and when i die i can go peacefully knowing that people would remmember me saying how gr8 a guy he was and not just the ones i knw but also th ones i dnt knw.thts what shd be th true purpose of one's life.I want to leave behind a legacy where people look up to me for anythng they want........................................................................................................................
Come college and i was all excited about being truly independent about doing what i wanted to do thru the day rather than sit in a room doing what others wanted me to do.But reality struck the situation wasn't much different.With the result oriented Educational Field in the country how can one expect to sit back and let others run ahead.So came the rat race.attending all classes and running here n thr for the notes.My dream of being famous took many turns and changes first was performing in cultural events which i turned down on my account.You can say i was sy but i wd term it more as a fear of being laughed at.
I admit it thr ws this insecurity tht hass stopped me time n again frm showing my talents/even participating (ok).....but then i though tht if i really want to be famous thn i must get to knw a lot of seniors and tht requires work so i set out tryin my hand at volunteering for Fests n all.
But that too didnt materialise over the next 2 yrs.
Slowly my dream faded away and i accepted the reality tht i wsn't to be the one who every1 knew.I like many others was just anthr guy.Nothin special in me to showoff as it is.my focussed shifted from college to the next level i knew tht i wd have to do wll in job/MBA to get noticed nd took heart in tht.
But let me state here for the record that all my life everything i have done has been for a purpose not for the heck of it.I do things only if thy give me something back in return otherwise not.Call it selfishness but i say its th truth with every1 doing the same thing.im nt ashamed of it.
This is not to say that i dnt help out people.I do as much as i can but it has a hidden reason behind it.I like the good feeling you get when you help people.I like it how i feel having hekped some1 out.
coming back to subject at hand colg got over job began but again i missed out but i guess i cdnt help it thr isnt much to do here to really call urself famous.So i dnt care..But i have a dream tht was structured when i read a line that has been in my head ever since.what i do in life is inconsequential as long as whatever i do makes a difference to even 1 person and when i die i can go peacefully knowing that people would remmember me saying how gr8 a guy he was and not just the ones i knw but also th ones i dnt knw.thts what shd be th true purpose of one's life.I want to leave behind a legacy where people look up to me for anythng they want........................................................................................................................
Tuesday, December 11, 2007
My Blog
Well to tell the truth here you will find a lot of things about me, me and me only.Simply because i love to talk and especially about myself.so if you don't wanna read it then i'm sorry i can't help it.But i have to be honest here from the outset i have been totally against the idea of blogging terming it as a waste of time and a useless activity.I have always told people what i think of them to their face and not worried about what they might think of me, as a result i have lost quite a few frnds over the years sm pretty close at tht too.I always thought that if someone was close to me he/she'll understand what i want to say and really know that in all earnest i mean the best for them.But sadly people are not like that.they need to be told only positive things about them i.e. all thy need is someone to make them happy.
No one needs a Devil's Advocate just coz' they can't handle the truth and sadly here is where i come in picture as i am the perfect candidate for the post.so as i result i found myself having lot more fights with frnds thn earlier and hence started keeping my thoughts to myself and not letting people know what i want to say.As a result of which i found myself getting frustrated at small thngs and hitting out at th wrng people at th wrng time.
Tht's when i realised i needed an outlet for my thoughts i need to tell people wat i feel and tht's when the idea of blogging struck me.i have to admit this is personal stuff and today people don't give a damn about it but i need an outlet for my thoughts so i don't care wat thy thnk.So this was how i got around to starting a Blog of my own.Stay tuned for more.........................
No one needs a Devil's Advocate just coz' they can't handle the truth and sadly here is where i come in picture as i am the perfect candidate for the post.so as i result i found myself having lot more fights with frnds thn earlier and hence started keeping my thoughts to myself and not letting people know what i want to say.As a result of which i found myself getting frustrated at small thngs and hitting out at th wrng people at th wrng time.
Tht's when i realised i needed an outlet for my thoughts i need to tell people wat i feel and tht's when the idea of blogging struck me.i have to admit this is personal stuff and today people don't give a damn about it but i need an outlet for my thoughts so i don't care wat thy thnk.So this was how i got around to starting a Blog of my own.Stay tuned for more.........................
The Early Years
I always had an inclination for writing but never got around to writing nethn tht cd be termed as an effort.first big effort was in Xth class when i wrote a slew of "sher" is wat u'll call them as in "sher - o - shaiyari" ones.it was an effort no doubt nd wat wid the comments i had to handle at the end of it all from everyone around.That's when i decided to give up writin 'em.
But the writer in me refuseed to die.My closest frnd shifted to Chennai when i entered XIth.So began the era of snail mail a hearty exchange of letters between us stretching over 2 yrs.Boy it seems so long back taking it was not the time of E-mails yet.That was a time when i used to write about almost everythng happening in my life.
But tht chngd with e-mails nd all nd we gt anthr mode to communicate.but colg life made me a bit lazy nd the my mind weaned off a bit of writing.But all tht changed in Feb 2004 when due to a very important reason i decided to reinvigorate my writer abilities and started a new phase which continues till date.I began writing poems.Although i won't term as extraordinary or nethng.I am quite humble u c so i cn say thy are at best amateurish with no use of hi-fi words n all just plain simple english and rhyming sentences.
So i can say i'm a writer at heart but the output maynot be too exceptional(sadly).
This was the background of my writing career in short..he he ok i knw it was a pj but still felt good..he he..................
But the writer in me refuseed to die.My closest frnd shifted to Chennai when i entered XIth.So began the era of snail mail a hearty exchange of letters between us stretching over 2 yrs.Boy it seems so long back taking it was not the time of E-mails yet.That was a time when i used to write about almost everythng happening in my life.
But tht chngd with e-mails nd all nd we gt anthr mode to communicate.but colg life made me a bit lazy nd the my mind weaned off a bit of writing.But all tht changed in Feb 2004 when due to a very important reason i decided to reinvigorate my writer abilities and started a new phase which continues till date.I began writing poems.Although i won't term as extraordinary or nethng.I am quite humble u c so i cn say thy are at best amateurish with no use of hi-fi words n all just plain simple english and rhyming sentences.
So i can say i'm a writer at heart but the output maynot be too exceptional(sadly).
This was the background of my writing career in short..he he ok i knw it was a pj but still felt good..he he..................
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