Friday, November 13, 2009

Blank

I don't know what i want to write about. I don't have anything specific in mind. I don't know whether this will be a short article or will I find the matter to make this a long article. 'It's been days, 35 to be precise since i last wrote something. So the need/craving to write has built up a bit but i have been putting that craving down simply because i haven't had the time to write something that i do want to write about. There have been instances which can deem a mention. There have been thoughts that have come to my mind as to what my next article must be all about. But right now i can't seem to allot them any importance. They have become insignificant events that took place sometime ago. All this doesn't mean that i'm going through one of my writer's blocks as i do have some issues that i could write on. But i am choosing not to as i know i won't like it when it's done and sure as heck will make someone quite mad,angry and in the end sad.
So what am i writing about. Should i detail out an event with the flowery vocabulary and build it up as if its a magnum opus rather than a simple (though painful operation)? Or should i detail out what's going on in the trading world with vivid examples and quotes to make the articles impressive to anyone who has an interest in stocks would like and others would only admire the effort and presentation? I can even act as a tour guide and list a lot of touring destinations with photographs pasted and detailed description given of what all can be seen and done in that location. But as by the looks of my write-up you must have guessed by now that i'm not going to do any of that stuff. I could talk a bit about politics and how what is wrong is being glossed over and how the Indian media is not doing it's job and etc. etc. But isn't that being rhetorical? I mean how many times can anyone read that same stuff? It's there everyday in the news and newspapers. I won't be adding a new dimension to the existing flaws and the discussion thereof.
Then again there is the allure of writing about love, life and relationships which my poor hassled readers have gone through time and again. But I am not in the mood right now for that kind of stuff. It's pretty much the story of how my life has shaped up and how and where i am right now. I have no idea what i want in life but i do know a few things i don't want to be and some things i don't want to do. I guess that thinking has finally found base with my writer mind too. I have no idea what i should/want to write about but yes i do have an idea of what i don't want to write about. As you might have guessed i am back to square one now. Not knowing what to write and still filling out words and pages for god knows who. One thing i would like to mention here is that even though i am at 60th article (nearing the years of India's Independence :) ) i don't have any readership. I believe my blog is probably one of the least followed blogs on the internet. It does feel sad to know this but it kind of gives a sick feeling of happiness too that i am creating a record anyhow with this.
People back in US have asked me how it feels like to be back home and what is the first thing that you did and other stuff. To all i have replied the same stuff, that i love the food and i love the feel of my hands on the steering wheel of my car. I missed driving while i was in US and i surely missed my mom's food. This sounded really peculiar to a lot of people in US. A grown man living with parents and i had to explain how that is what Indian culture is mostly about. You are not considered a good kid if you move out and leave your parents behind. I know i am not talking about the whole country but probably a respectable proportion. It feels good to get behind the wheel of the car and drive as fast and as madly as possible. It feels good to be among friends again and it feels good to spend more time on my friend's seat in office than on mine. Of course this comes at a price of having to listen to some or the other nonsense from someone or the other but it's worth it i would say.
Many would say that i haven't enjoyed my stay in US and that i should have done this or that i should have gone here etc. etc. But i know that whatever i have done nobody else would have done and frankly i did what i liked doing. So yes i did feel that it would have been better to have had some company but still overall an adventurous trip. I'm not sure my valiantly trying mind has any more exciting stuff to dish out and i am getting a bit tired too (i know my fitness and concentration levels are the worst in the world). So i'm going to kill this article here, not intending to finish it and hoping that whoever reads it doesn't pluck out his/her hair. Sionara goodbye shabba khair