A very common line spoken innumerable times a day around the globe in different dialects. I myself have said it so many times to god knows how many people. Today however I was on the receiving side. In a short span of 45 mins I heard the phrase at least 5 times. When you don’t know where you have to go and have to depend on people for directions you can’t be 100% sure whether you’re getting the right directions or not. Coupled with the other traffic moving along the whole process was in a way a nightmare.
The ‘Schumacher’ in me was tamed down to a snail. On a day when I clocked 122 km/h on my speedometer I was forced to drive at 35 km/h. The high of having driven at 122 in the morning – breaking all existing records on Delhi’s roads (even highways) was washed over by the journey later in the day. A series of U-Turns ensued where every time I got some new directions. Plus the pathetic condition of roads made it miserable under the sun. To top it all off the work we had planned to accomplish didn’t get done and here I am all broken and tired. My legs aching after having endured another 1.5 hr drive home and 3 long badminton games that were played at a stretch.
But do I regret it? Hell no. I have realized over the last two years that I love driving. I may not set out on a trip every other weekend but whenever I’m behind the wheel, I love it. Moving in and out of lanes and speeding (only little-wanna touch 150 someday). I simply love all of this. But sadly Delhi traffic doesn’t allow you to enjoy the drive. You will get stuck up in a jam somewhere for sure, crawling at 5 km/h. But I take it as a strong pill, swallowing it down. The fun and the excitement is there nonetheless.
How I wish I had a clear stretch with minimal traffic every time I move out, but so does everyone else too I guess. You gotta love driving when you’re sitting in that seat and no matter how tiresome or long the journey maybe, you won’t feel bad after it because you have just done something you really enjoyed. Like Dhoni says,”Padai kuch bhi ho, zindagi mein Pyaas honi chahiye.” So I can say mujhe driving ki pyaas hai (hehehe).
It wasn’t like this in the beginning when I first started driving. I was fed up of the traffic and my inexperience. There was a time when I didn’t even want to drive. But slowly I got used to the car and the feel of the wheel. I grew confident and soon it transformed into love. I know I don’t know a thing under the hood of the car but I know I love all that there is.
That’s why my heart aches whenever I hear unwanted sounds coming from the car. It’s like you hear a loved one cry and you know you can’t make him stop. If I look at it closely, I might be brought into thinking that someone doesn’t want me to drive but that’s my imagination running wild. Thus from hero (at 122) in the morning to zero (5-10) at night, I’ve surely had an eventful day……….
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
Happy Ending....????
Out on a moonlit night with your special someone by your side, you look deep into those mesmerizing eyes. (You are) searching for the answers to the questions haunting you for so long. Could it be? Have I found my one true love? The person I want to settle down with? Is this the love that everyone keeps talking about? You hold hands and smile. A satisfaction emerging from the knowledge that yes you have found what you have been looking for all along. No longer a simple crush, it is real and beautiful love. You believe deep inside your heart that your feelings are reciprocated.
With a sense of joy and elation, you take the plunge. The three most important words you will ever speak. The time you spent rehearsing them. Your heart is beating faster than normal today. You are nervous; bordering on the lines of terrified. You turn back from the brink. It is way too tough than you had imagined. But your strength regroups quickly. Pushing you forward again. You are worried about the outcome. What if the answer’s a no? You could lose your best friend. But if you don’t propose you might lose the love of your life.
Caught in the dilemma you are moving back and forth. The emotional backlash takes its toll on you and you give in. Throwing all inhibitions aside you make your move. Not knowing what to expect you say the three words. Five seconds pass and there is no response. You start panicking, ostracizing yourself for jeopardizing a wonderful friendship. Cursing for making the ill advised move. Ten seconds have passed by now and you break up in sweat. You turn your eyes back to your love and the expression nearly takes you out.
You see a smile, full of love and care. Your hopes rise. You see light at the end of the tunnel. You were not mistaken. You took the right step you feel, as you pat yourself on the back. The mouth opens to say something but closes right back. Choice of words at this point is very important. The lips part again, mesmerizing you with their slow movement.
Words start coming out, but you don’t understand them. It takes you some time to establish what is being said. An apology is being given, you think. Unable to make any sense of what’s going on you try hard to concentrate. Then the words sink in. Your effort, your love have been rejected. You were never looked at from that angle you hear. You were, are and always will be the best friend. Shattered to the bone you try to regroup. This has been more than a shock. You were certain that you were not alone, that your feelings were reciprocated.
But it was not to be. No amount of consoling could help you. You are stricken with grief. Friendship is intact though. You look around yourself. Ironically, all you see is couples in love. You ask why, why you were rejected. No answer could help you though and you know it. You move away taking up time to think. There was one error in your judgment that now seems pretty clear – You were expecting too much. You were expecting the same status that you had provided in your life. You were expecting love in return of love. A glaring flaw that was overlooked in the moments of excitement and anticipation.
Crestfallen you accept your fate. After all you tried. But what to do now? Do you still continue as before? Do you act as if nothing has happened? Can you? Can you stand the pain day in and day out? All the questions bombard you from everywhere. What should be your next step? You think of searching for a new person in your life. Somebody, you can have everything you had planned for with. But even while you search, you can’t figure out a way to let go of the past. It still props up to haunt you. You are sad and irritable because of it.
Then reckoning dawns and you try the formula you had always preached. You let go of the thing you love. If it comes back it’s yours, if it doesn’t it never was. You wait impatiently for that call/message. Nothing happens. You are dumbstruck. All this while it was you probably who was clinging on. You were the one making the items roll. This reality seems a harder blow than the previous one. You take it in your stride though. You move away thinking it’s for the best. Feeling betrayed you turn skeptical even hostile. You believe you will find love someday but you know you won’t fall for it as easily (as you did his time). You will be cautious. You will be ………… careful.
With a sense of joy and elation, you take the plunge. The three most important words you will ever speak. The time you spent rehearsing them. Your heart is beating faster than normal today. You are nervous; bordering on the lines of terrified. You turn back from the brink. It is way too tough than you had imagined. But your strength regroups quickly. Pushing you forward again. You are worried about the outcome. What if the answer’s a no? You could lose your best friend. But if you don’t propose you might lose the love of your life.
Caught in the dilemma you are moving back and forth. The emotional backlash takes its toll on you and you give in. Throwing all inhibitions aside you make your move. Not knowing what to expect you say the three words. Five seconds pass and there is no response. You start panicking, ostracizing yourself for jeopardizing a wonderful friendship. Cursing for making the ill advised move. Ten seconds have passed by now and you break up in sweat. You turn your eyes back to your love and the expression nearly takes you out.
You see a smile, full of love and care. Your hopes rise. You see light at the end of the tunnel. You were not mistaken. You took the right step you feel, as you pat yourself on the back. The mouth opens to say something but closes right back. Choice of words at this point is very important. The lips part again, mesmerizing you with their slow movement.
Words start coming out, but you don’t understand them. It takes you some time to establish what is being said. An apology is being given, you think. Unable to make any sense of what’s going on you try hard to concentrate. Then the words sink in. Your effort, your love have been rejected. You were never looked at from that angle you hear. You were, are and always will be the best friend. Shattered to the bone you try to regroup. This has been more than a shock. You were certain that you were not alone, that your feelings were reciprocated.
But it was not to be. No amount of consoling could help you. You are stricken with grief. Friendship is intact though. You look around yourself. Ironically, all you see is couples in love. You ask why, why you were rejected. No answer could help you though and you know it. You move away taking up time to think. There was one error in your judgment that now seems pretty clear – You were expecting too much. You were expecting the same status that you had provided in your life. You were expecting love in return of love. A glaring flaw that was overlooked in the moments of excitement and anticipation.
Crestfallen you accept your fate. After all you tried. But what to do now? Do you still continue as before? Do you act as if nothing has happened? Can you? Can you stand the pain day in and day out? All the questions bombard you from everywhere. What should be your next step? You think of searching for a new person in your life. Somebody, you can have everything you had planned for with. But even while you search, you can’t figure out a way to let go of the past. It still props up to haunt you. You are sad and irritable because of it.
Then reckoning dawns and you try the formula you had always preached. You let go of the thing you love. If it comes back it’s yours, if it doesn’t it never was. You wait impatiently for that call/message. Nothing happens. You are dumbstruck. All this while it was you probably who was clinging on. You were the one making the items roll. This reality seems a harder blow than the previous one. You take it in your stride though. You move away thinking it’s for the best. Feeling betrayed you turn skeptical even hostile. You believe you will find love someday but you know you won’t fall for it as easily (as you did his time). You will be cautious. You will be ………… careful.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)