Clarfication

Ever since i wrote my last article i have received a lot of suggestions and been part of a few discussions where i have been told that one can not stop loving in life. One incident should not allow you to change your attitude towards love. Whatever happens you should not give up on love etc. etc.....
I have thought about this and have come to the conclusion that whatever it was that i wanted to convey didn't get through to the people reading the article. Maybe if i rephrased it all it could be better understood. So I'm here today to offer an explanation as to what i really wanted to say when i wrote that article.
I agree i have been hurt badly in love. I stand here and say that we would be better off not being in love at all than to be hurt by the very persons we have loved so much. It simply means that i would today give anything to take away the pain and hurt that i have and still going through , to never remind of it again, much like it never happened. Also I have in no way changed my views on love as a feeling. I say that one day i might fall in love again and yes i look forward to that day but i would be a lot more cautious of the people and a bit more circumspect to avoid this kind of heartache.
I agree that all relationships cannot last a life time and there will be some pain/hurt even in the best of the relationships but that won't stop me from being cautious. So i guess now i might have answered few of the doubts raised that needed clarification........

What is Love..Baby don't hurt me..don't hurt me no more...

ishq waise hai ek aandhi ishq hai ek toofan....ishq ke aagey bebas hain duniyan mein har insaan...these are the words that make the day worthwhile for everyone. Every single being on this planet wants to love someone and be loved in return. Love is something one always craves for. Something you need in your life to make it feel complete. Surely your family as a support is there always, but they don't make the cut. They are there for the more mundane tasks, because when you are in love you have that heady feeling of aloofness when all else cease to matter. You want to spend all your time with your loved one. Breaking other engagements for that one date of say even an hour.

You might ask yourself what does this guy want writing about stuff we either know already about or don't want to know. Well to remove your doubt/misery i am here today to contest the very important phrase in human history that has been so often thrown around like a rag over the ages - ITS BETTER TO HAVE LOVED AND LOST THAN TO HAVE NEVER LOVED. First and foremost i want to meet the bloody person who said wrote this line in the first place.was he really crazy or did he not understand the real intricacies of love and was merely a bystander or did he not lose his love at all. I had always believed in this line and for so long that i could never think of it being untrue.But now at this point of time in my life i must admit my belief has been shaken.

Yes its true that there is nothing like love in this world.The aroma of love when it spreads gives you such a high that i don't think you'll need drugs anymore.The feeling inside you to hear that voice, see that face, that smile that laugh, it all can be very intoxicating.so much so you lose yourself in that sensation leaving behind everything you like and would not miss for anything else in the world.Love can change your life in ways more than you can ever imagine.But what happens when the one person you love and devoted your entire time on kicks you away like a football.having used you for their own purposes they now think they don' need you anymore in their lives because maybe they aren't sad anymore and don't need any shoulder to cry on. Or maybe it can be that they have found someone else to replace you in their lives. What happens then?

What should a person do in such a situation?Crestfallen from the hurt and pain that they are going through they stare as blind men into the sky or seek places of solitude to bury their pain.They don't understand why they are going through all this.What wrong have they done. All they did was love a certain someone with all their heart and thought that one day their efforts will be rewarded when the person concerned would acknowledge their role/presence in their lives.But that dream is not to be just like Alexander the Great fell short of conquering the world though many say he still did what no one else could repeat.But go and ask Alexander is he satisfied with that explanation?I bet you would not get a happy response.

So to come back to the point, i say that whoever said it was best to have loved and lost than to never have loved must never have lost his/her love.For as god as my witness i can stand here and say that i was better off never to have loved than to lose whatever i loved in a manner that i beg the lord to not inflict on anyone else.I cry for help from the almighty to explain to me why i was made to go through all this pain and why if i did indeed had to he didn't give me a strong heart to support it, to challenge it and in the end defeat it.This isn't a cry for sympathy as you might think but a resolve to strengthen myself against all further incidents. I don't say i will never love again, but i will surely be much more careful to give it away easily..........

In Pursuit of Happiness

Over the past couple of days i have thought about writing something on this page.....but whenever i open the link i somehow ween myself away from it.Its like i didnt want to write anymore.A tumultous month has left me literally in tatters....coming to terms with the bitter reality is taking time.All the factors put in a couldron stoked by the raging fire from hell...i feel that the angels of darkness are doin their everybit to keep me this way while the angels of light are busy somewhere vacationing.Maybe this is what the elders used to call the dark ages, it sure feels like that i can say.
Suddenly the promise of cheer is gone.No avenue from where a ray of hope or happiness might creep in.This condition has brought me to a point where i find myself trapped in a state of sorrow, no escape route visible.I feel like having been left here to live with the solitude that i have hated all my life and the state i have tried running away from all these years.Flashes of happiness spread across a galaxy of darkness has brought my vision to a standstill.The promisee of sun rising on the horizon has long been forgotten and the ever increasing darkness is trying to engulf whatever that remains in my mind of the once so happy place.
The struggle against this onslaught has been weak i must admit although i knew that it was coming. Letting it run over me like a sheep left alone in a pack of wolves. Thought not fully destroyed yet but i have to admit the flamboyant spirit has been dented. The once no care in this world attitude has suffered a big jolt and the perception has been altered. Gone are those days now and a much more sophisticated, a much more analysed approach will need to be taken to live with this darkness that surrounds me now.
But here i stop and wonder.Can it be?Can i let things be and try and move around them to avoid conflict/confrontation?Am i so fond of comfort that i'm not willing to fight for something that should be mine.My frredom, my light, my life, my love. So the bigger question now arises from the dust just like the rise of the Phoenix, Can i be such a coward to drop my arms before all and everything in this world?Is there a warrior spirit in me that says,"300 against 10,000 lets bring it."or the words of wisdom,"big chance of defeat small chance of success, what are we waiting for?"I believe that there is. A day will come when my spirit will break,my body will fail me,i will come to an end but this will not be this day.This day I fight.
The fire of passion will put to pieces the burning fire of hell stoking the couldron and i will emerge from this darkness of sadness surrounding me to be what i used to be and much more.But before all that is to happen i have to find a light to get to my bed....................

Donning the DON

Now when i first started writing my blog i couldnt find a good enough domain name with the travails of having a very very common name...(saurabh) so i had to rake my brains a lot...
then i hit upon this.....DONNING THE DON......Taken from my college nickname DON, so thought this would suit the domain name perfectly well...donning the mantle and living up to the name....or rather why is it that people call me that.
Any body who knows me (since college) has always asked me one thing when they meet me or come to know about me & the DON i.e. why i am called DON?well this credit goes to two of my very good frnds....Mr. Shijo K Joshua and Mr.Shailender Singh Negi(chota from hereon).A rather inconspicuous event and i had no idea that such a thing would become so big that hardly ne1 from college knows my real name now..and even in my office nobody (except for my seniors) call me by my real name.
So wat really happened?well i was in second year-the early days....oh the freshness of being some1's senior...the wish to rag the others the way we had been.....u knw wat im talkin abt....
we have all been thru that phase...well i was doin th same nthn etc..nd i wsnt alone...
i had a group of frnds wid me ragging a group of three....i don't think i went overboard i doubt tht seriously...but acording to chota and shijo, i did and they struck up wid the name and till date (5.5 yrs almost) i have been known by that name alone....hate it till date but hv learnt to live wid it....So now,there it is not a hilarious story but a Light Hearted one no doubt...a respite from my earlier write ups and the seriousness entailed....though i doubt this phase might not last for long.........newaz...abhi ke liye kafi hai....baad mein kuch aur likhenge