Over the past couple of days i have thought about writing something on this page.....but whenever i open the link i somehow ween myself away from it.Its like i didnt want to write anymore.A tumultous month has left me literally in tatters....coming to terms with the bitter reality is taking time.All the factors put in a couldron stoked by the raging fire from hell...i feel that the angels of darkness are doin their everybit to keep me this way while the angels of light are busy somewhere vacationing.Maybe this is what the elders used to call the dark ages, it sure feels like that i can say.
Suddenly the promise of cheer is gone.No avenue from where a ray of hope or happiness might creep in.This condition has brought me to a point where i find myself trapped in a state of sorrow, no escape route visible.I feel like having been left here to live with the solitude that i have hated all my life and the state i have tried running away from all these years.Flashes of happiness spread across a galaxy of darkness has brought my vision to a standstill.The promisee of sun rising on the horizon has long been forgotten and the ever increasing darkness is trying to engulf whatever that remains in my mind of the once so happy place.
The struggle against this onslaught has been weak i must admit although i knew that it was coming. Letting it run over me like a sheep left alone in a pack of wolves. Thought not fully destroyed yet but i have to admit the flamboyant spirit has been dented. The once no care in this world attitude has suffered a big jolt and the perception has been altered. Gone are those days now and a much more sophisticated, a much more analysed approach will need to be taken to live with this darkness that surrounds me now.
But here i stop and wonder.Can it be?Can i let things be and try and move around them to avoid conflict/confrontation?Am i so fond of comfort that i'm not willing to fight for something that should be mine.My frredom, my light, my life, my love. So the bigger question now arises from the dust just like the rise of the Phoenix, Can i be such a coward to drop my arms before all and everything in this world?Is there a warrior spirit in me that says,"300 against 10,000 lets bring it."or the words of wisdom,"big chance of defeat small chance of success, what are we waiting for?"I believe that there is. A day will come when my spirit will break,my body will fail me,i will come to an end but this will not be this day.This day I fight.
The fire of passion will put to pieces the burning fire of hell stoking the couldron and i will emerge from this darkness of sadness surrounding me to be what i used to be and much more.But before all that is to happen i have to find a light to get to my bed....................
1 comment:
Darkness,sadness,struggle it seems as if we were sinking in the same boat, but not anymore.
To see the spirit of getting up and fight again is the best part of the post. Well done and keep it up.
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