The Glorified Indian Voter

Much has been written in press and told in media with regards to the recent assembly election poll results. The Indian voter has been hailed as great and finally mature by every section of the media. Politicians, executives alike have come out in support of the positive thinking done by the voters. Everyone is happy at this accomplishment and why shouldn’t they be? After all they are finally being praised for doing something they have ignored doing properly for the last 62 years.
Rajdeep Sardesai has come out in support and criticized the strategies of BJP for using terror plank as a poll issue rather than helping the government. He has heaped insult on the party for being opportunistic. He has gone on to say how the Indian voter has finally realised what is right and wrong and who is good and not. Acknowledging the use of same weapon by the Congress in 1984 to win the Lok Sabha elections he fails to admit the atrocities committed by the congress workers in the Sikh community yet mere mention of Gujarat/Modi definitely brings Godhra into the picture.

Are Sikhs not Indians like the Muslims, Hindus, Christians, Jews and people following other religions? Then why is their plight never highlighted by the media. Why is their pain ignored and no demand made for the trials of the accused to be completed swiftly? Why the accused are currently sitting at the centre and enjoying the fruits of corruption whereas the one chief minister who has actually turned his state around always harangued like a boxers punching bag. These are questions I’m sure no one will answer and move them aside as mere rhetoric but there is a lot of truth behind them and it won’t die away.

Moving on I would like to categorically state that I believe that the Indian voter has lost an opportunity this month to bring stability to the country. By voting in congress the masses have given power to one party that has never been too keen on the development, security and growth issue. Congress has forever and ever right from its inception always sought to stay in power and do nothing. Like Bhagat Singh says in the movie Legend of Bhagat Singh, “Congress sirf tike rehna chahti hai.”

Agreed terror can not be contained single handedly and we do need higher levels of communication between intelligence agencies and greater cooperation between states to counter terrorism. Yes no one party can be blamed for the attacks and failure to cope with them in a swift and effective manner. Political class on a whole is truly at fault and I mince no words when I say that all of them should be incarcerated. But there is a touch to it. I have always believed that if you are up against the BAD and the UGLY go for BAD as UGLY would really be very ugly. Like the age old adage, “Andhon mein Kana Raja.” You are caught between the devil and the cliffs. So by voting in Congress the Indian voter has brought in the UGLY, The Blind and the Devil. How would you explain the mercy plea by the government itself for the Parliament Attacks’ prime accused and maser mind Afzal Guru or the repeated inaction on the part of J&K government to arrest and prosecute the terrorists in the valley. Their more than eager willingness to release the prisoners caught so valiantly by our armed forces in hopes of getting them the necessary punishment.

Coupled with all this is the never ending theories surrounding the Batla encounter and the recent Mumbai counter attack. There might not be any proof available to prove these theories of some wrong doing having taken place but yes they do force the mind to think in a different direction. You do sit up and wonder that what if this is true. Can it be? No it can’t, nobody could create such fake encounters. But as I see it when it comes to Congress nothing is impossible. When a power hungry head of state can have her own son eliminated to retain power god knows what they are capable of and to what depths of insanity they can fall to safeguard their interests.

Yes you might have seen by now that there is a certified negative bias towards Congress in my writing but I know that it’s not completely misplaced. There is truth in all that I have written and I sure as hell don’t believe in congress’ promise of development and safety. Had it ever been so we would have seen it by now. We wouldn’t have had to deal with what we are seeing today. The Indian voter has once again failed India, keeping in tune with what has been happening ever since independence. So to end this I have to say regrettably that no the Indian voter has not grown up. He has like always fallen on the false promises dished out by the most incompetent party of the world and set the country back by another 5 years.

P.S. – I have not added economic crisis to the list as I know that it’s a global phenomena and couldn’t have been avoided by the government and hence I do recognize that no part can be blamed for these tumultuous events.

I Don't Wanna Miss A Thing

Its been a long time since i last wrote something.A change has come over me i must agree as regards my commitment towards my writing.I have grown a bit lazy to say the least, preferring to do other things while online (mainly chatting) rather than writing.Today if i'm writing anything it is primarily because currently i have no one to talk too :).But on a more serious note there has been lack of motivation on my part to write anything, quite evident from my last few posts.I don't know the reason for it and it has been worrying me for the past few days where i have wanted to write something but wasn't able to put anything together.If i were to take a guess i would say that the sense of sadness around me and in my life over the past month could be a reason.But i doubt whether it would be true as during the same time i have had few really wonderful moments beginning with my cousin's wedding and culminating in my exam result.

So i am back to square one.Trying to find the reason of this dilemma and to find a way to get out of it too.But on the other hand i have to admit that i have never been so confident of myself as i have been over this past week.I have never felt so good.This surely is a positive sign.I'm happy if not excited or elated currently nad guess that is all that one can ask for in today's time.I have faith and belief in myself (what if i got one thing wrong in the project :) ).All this has spurred me on to take life more easily and try having more fun.Then why the conundrum.Why can't i write?Why a person who has always got a 'Too Talkative' remark in his report card not being able to talk?

Voila!! looks like i have struck upon the solution (I'm a genious :) ).Jokes apart, i think taking my last few years into consideration since the time i started to write this blog and sometime before that, I got more talkative-wanting to pour my feelings/frustration out of me whenever i was feeling sad or depressed.However, when i was really happy and enjoying myself i didn't bother too much to write something.So in short my writing is somehow linked with my feelings and emotion and that is the reason why most of my articles are relating to sadness and pain.Some movie reviews did go through but they were written simply because the movies were awesome.I might have missed a few movies but then again i'm not really a movie reviewer :).

So where am i now?Enjoying loud, heavy music (Hindi too :) ) writing and enjoying myself. I'm finally listening to the same music that i have been avoiding for so long now simply because i hadve gotten bored with the same collection.Guess this comes with the jolly mood that i am currently in.I must admit I'M LOVING IT.Head banging and grooving to the beats.Man i had forgotten what great collection i have.This is a journey to the past of sorts.

I am happy yet feelings of restrain do arise.Is so much happiness acceptable.Will I not be hit by the cycle of life where each phase of happiness is followed by that of sadness and vice versa.But to that I can say that I’ve quit worrying about the future.It is so uncertain so why bother thinking about it.Things will happen at their own pace.So live and enjoy the present.Move on from the past and put the future aside.Live and let live.So what I am doing for this.For one I have decided to change things in my life a bit.I have decided to pursue things I have wanted to do for so long but never had the will to do.I am going to make every day of my life count and try find something important to remember it.So when I look back I can find more than a handful of days to remember.This is for that wave of optimism sweeping inside me – I DON’T WANNA MISS A THING……………….

Dear Diary

Over the past few months i have seen a lot happen around me and there have been many instances when i have felt like doing something out of all the frustration that had been building up inside me.But the non-violent attitude doesn't allow me to take up cudgels and fight against the perpetrators of all this nonsense.I instead have taken all of it and more as a bitter pill and swallowed all the anger everytime that something has happened.But rest assured these instances do leave a mark on the mind.What happens certainly affects you in ways you would not know at the moment but maybe sometime later on.They tend to form your views and opinions on certain issues and regarding certain people-people you know and people you don't know.This may not look all that bad but the feelings that develop as a consequence of this may come out at the wrong time and in the wrong manner which can be harmful for a lot of people around you.
My mind has been through hell and back during this year with a wonderful beginning but a sad and depressing end that just doesn't seem to end.I have been on the high and elated and down and out within matter of weeks if not days.The upheavels i have gone through personally plus what i have seen happen across the country has send my mind for a toss.There are so many feelings that have developed inside me with a lot of ambiguity.Don't know how to react to all this as its all very confusing.I have not been able to make sense of a lot of things.Being a practical, non-violent and realist person i look for reason in everything around me.I somehow have not been able to find the reason behind terrorism.
There are so many thoughts flowing around inside my head.So much to say, so much to write about,so much to do yet whenever I try to sit down and write something meaningful and interesting i fail miserably.I was baffled initially when i was hit by this.I was not sure that when i have so much to write why i'm not able to do it.I tried and tried but couldn't write anything good. Then it dawned on me that its because i have so much to write that i fail to write coherently. What i'm trying to say is that because of the monumental block of feelings stored up inside me, i have not been able to channelise it all into one flowing paragraph.That is the reason why there is no fluency, no clear cut thought process.
I have taken out all the pent up frustration in my life on the poor and hapless readers of this blog via my sometimes sad and depressing but sometimes meaningful articles (pray that they forgive me).But this time i haven't got a clue what to do because i can't write anything substantial. Always resulting in a botched up attempt at writing an article.I don't know till when this phase of sadness and gloom will last in my life but i surely hope that it ends soon as it is getting really tiring to put up with it day in and day out.After all there is alimit to how much i can take.I know i'm strong enugh to avoid imploding but am i strong enough to prevent myself from exploding?That is the answer i'm looking for in my life.
I don't know if all the crap i have dished out here today makes any sense to anyone because i for one can't make out a thing.It can be that my mind is to restless to read through all this or it might even be the distraction of the music ringing out in my ears but whtever be it i am glad i wrote something.I was beginning to feel that i might be losing my interest in writing and music at the same time but since i'm doing both the things together right now (listening to music and writing) i guess i need not worry on that front for now. So to end this sordid saga of my unnfortunate mind and its incapabilities i would sign off for the time being with my eveready one-liner - HAVE A NICE DAY.........see ya...

I'm Asking Why...!!!!

Long time has passed and a lot has happened in the world since I last felt like writing something. The Americans have their first Black President,financial crisis have changed the world scenario,terrorism is continuously climbing that never ending ladder. Personally, there is nothing great to write home about too. All in all i would say that I am longing for even an iota of good news in and around my lfe. I don't say that I'm sad and depressed but i won't say I'm elated either. I'm held up in a situation where everywhere i look i see gloom yet people somehow taking all of it and more in their stride and moving on with their lives. They are hurt yet they can't do anything about it and hence moving on is their only option.
Fresh piece of bad news that has hit me hard although I'm miles away from the drama and the action is the recent Terror strike in Mumbai. A 60 hour long siege where the city of Mumbai was literally brought to a halt. Held at ransom by a group of 15-20 people with sophisticated weapons at their disposal. The attack left 183 dead - 22 foreigners,20 Policemen,2 NSG commandos rest innocent civilians,caught in the crossfire between the terrorists and the security personnel. So many lives lost. Some very important people died,some not so important and a lot of common people going about their daily lives.
I am proud of all the people who fought to save the city from these bastards,I pray for the people who died and left their loved ones in grief.I pray for the people who managed to come out of the ordeal alive but are still shell shocked and traumatised.But I do not pray for the decision makers of this country and instead wish for them to rot in hell for as long as the devil wants.Its their incompetence for which the people of the country have to pay with their lives while they waste public money on themselves and their so not very important lives.I didn't lose anyone in the attack.No one i knew was present yet i am so saddened like the billions around the world at witnessing such a ghastly act of cowardness.
Only few hours have passed since the chaos finally ended with a monumental loss of life and property but I'm pretty sure that those in power and those wanting to get in power won't stop from using it as their agenda in the coming polls.They will try and drive maximum mileage out of this to suit their personal agendas and fill their overspilling coffers a lot more. Having sucked out the spirit of democracy from the mind and heart of the people they have literally sold the country to the wolves. The whole political class be it Left,Congress,BJP,BSP and many others are part of the same coin.There is not one leader whom you could look up to,whom you could respect,who could represent this large and (now) not so proud nation.
My mind keeps on coming back to the same point that all this sadness in one form or the other that we have become accustomed to seeing and being a part of in our daily lives must have roots somehere else than what we are made out to believe by the politicians and the media.I mean there must be more to it than meets the eye especially if you analyse the experiences of the last century.
I think no one could have ever guessed what the follies of one nation could do to the whole world.They brought destruction in terms of warfare.They gave rise to unbriddled consumerism to suit their own fucking lifestyle while the whole world suffered.they brought the global economy to recession with their flawed policies and regulations. They gave rise to terrorism all over the world in order to combat an enemy. It's the US that gave rise to Taliban in Afghanistan in order to fight USSR.They supplied all the arms and ammunition and reared a virus.But like all other viruses this too beat back the hand that fed it.Presto - 9/11.
And since then there has been no looking back.Countries have suffered,people have died,spirits killed yet no one has dared to stand up and ask where does all of this end? When will it stop? What can we do to stop all this? I have tried my hand but never reached anywhere close to an answer. I am mentally shaken by all of this and don't know what should be done.Do we go on a killing spree and kill all those suspected of terrorism in one single swoop to send out a message that we mean business and we shouldn't be taken lightly or do we sit back and think and take some decisions and wait a bit longer to implement them while we are faced with another such situation................................................

Deja Vu

It was a revisit to the forgotten past.Another trip down the painful and forgettable memory lane.A trip i didnt want to make.I wanted to move forward and not go back down again in my life but as fate would have it there is so much that you can do and wish for.There were so many hopes, so many wishes but all came to naught when that trip though unplanned and accidental came to be.All hopes broken in matter of time.Guess the apt words that could spring to mind would be-"Chann se jo tootte koi sapna....jag soona soona lagey jag soona soona lagey koi rahe na jab apna...jag soona ou?soona lagey."Trite, sure, but you can't run away from the truth, can you?
for 4 long years it had been the most important thing in my life.Everytime running after the same thing,for the same elusive(or illusive, i don't really know) victory.The past years were different in the sense that i knew that i still had it in me to take the fight to the next year.But this year was different.From the outset i knew that it would be my last attempt to gain that victory.No more attempts after this.But what does fate had in store for me.I guess something else.Like the horror of 2005 i had to face the same result.Same scores, same rejection.
I have always believed that whatever happens, happens for the best.That is why after coming so close to getting admission to the most coveted college of all in India - IIM's and not making the final cut i was over it(albeit after some time) thinking about the struggle the current batch would go through and how things would be different next year. But what next year am i talking about when i fail to get admission in the first place.The struggle of the past 4 years has taken its toll.I knew that i wouldn't give it another shot and now here i am, not knowing what to do.Where is the best part in all this for me i can't see right now, maybe somewhere down the line thr might be but i can't see anything right now.
I don't know if the shock i have felt will ever let go of me because to me getting that one seat was the most important thing in the world.Didn't want to settle for anything else.Its like when a child sees a toy and likes it and wants that particular toy and nothing else no matter what his parents might say about the other toys being good or equally good.The child wants the particular toy at all cost.My case is pretty much similar except for the fact that in case of the child the parents oblige by buying the toy i have no such recourse now.I can't be into IIM ever, just like i never got into IIT.
This brings me to another point that has been circulating in my mind since yesterday.All my life i have never got anything that i wished for and the few times that i have, it has always been accompanied with something else being taken away.Examples galore and i would be a fool to even think of narrating any one of them, there are so many.Rest of the times i haven't got what i wished for.Seems like luck has never been on my side and never will be.I know my thoughts are depressing and sad and people think i'm crazy doubting myself, but the hurt and the pain that i'm going through won't let me be.What is to become of me now.Will i get a chance elsewhere?Even so i will have to settle for something else.It would be a compromise that i will have to accept(If at all i get 'Lucky').The feeling will linger forever and ever........IIM remained an impossible dream.

Rock On...........

Writer, fighter, producer, director, singer, actor……camera man, every man..... FLOP…. Went the title song of Jaspal Bhatti’s FLOP SHOW but in this case it’s a big hit. No I’m not talking about Flop show’s success though it was a huge hit too. Here I’m talking of something else, something that has taken Bollywood to the next level. Can one man do all the things mentioned above (give and take one or two). Well, 2 months ago I would have said no way hose but I would have been made to eat my own words because there is a star on the horizon ladies and gentleman. We knew he is a good director, but a singer, actor, fighter (one punch only but he has a toned body J ) this we didn’t know and we saw all of it and more in ‘Rock On’.
Yes I’m talking about the charismatic ‘Farhan Akhtar’. Two months ago, I would have termed his entry as an actor as just keeping up with fad of becoming a Bollywood actor/actress. What with Himesh Reshammiya and the slew of models making their debuts alongside Emraan Hashmi. It was good that prior to watching the movie I had not seen any promos or heard any songs either which helped me take the movie as it was without any preconceived notions. I was skeptical to say the least of the star cast of the film. A film about music and no established face (including poor old Arjun Rampal). But not only were the performances great but also the music.
A Bollywood movie on rock music is very hard to come by. But it would create such a buzz was beyond my wildest dreams. Arjun Rampal has acted now in what about 20-30 movies, maybe more and done few good roles too but he fades in and out of the movie. Agreed his character was a slow, chill type guy but if you are performing on stage you got to move your fingers on the guitar even though you’re not actually playing it…. What he was doing is beyond me. After OSO this was a big step down for him I would say. Purab on the other hand showed a lot of character in the small role that he played.
But the star who took everyone by surprise ‘Farhan Akhtar’. He has taken Bollywood to a different level with this role. Nowhere in the movie does he make you feel that this is his first film as an actor. Such intensity and finesse is hard to see in the current crop of young actors. His performance literally blows you away. He gets so involved in the character he is essaying that it is mind boggling. Whether in a business suit as an asset manager or a rock star performing on stage, he fills both the roles completely and you are left wondering is he the same guy that we saw earlier. Much like what must be going on in Prachi Desai’s mind in the movie.
But all accolades fall on Farhan more so because this is not his usual cup of tea. To come up with such a brilliant performance on debut is truly amazing. Apart from acting, his voice too is quite good and you again tend to think that it’s a professional singer but surprise it is Farhan Akhtar. And what a dear old friend of mine would say,”Tumhare alfazon ka sahi hona lazmi hai kyunki tumhari maa Shabana Azmi hai.” All in all an electrifying performance in a very entertaining movie. Farhan has made a lot of fans and now I am one of them. From ‘Socha hai..’ to ‘Rock On’ to ‘Sinbad the sailor..’ the music has simply left me speechless. Wish to see more such movies with more such performances in the future. But tonight its all about one man, the star ‘Farhan Akhtar’.

Aur Bataa

It’s a bright sunny day and you are feeling good at office, at college or even relaxing at home. Suddenly breaking the silence around you, your phone rings. The ring tone is your favorite obviously. You know the caller, a good friend at that. You start chatting nips and bits. Small talk – how’s life, how’s work/college. Nothing major or substantial. Then you (or the caller) utter the words. If you do say/hear them, then congratulations you too have been affected by the deadly virus doing the rounds. People call it by different names but I like to call it the ‘Aur Bataa’ virus.
This is that phase of the conversation when actually you have nothing important to talk about with the other person. You can pretend to support various topics to prolong the talk, but in reality you have no idea about what you are doing. You are drifting. You called up the person just for the heck of it. After all what did you expect? He will break down in front of you with all his problems looking for comfort in return or rather start blabbering about every small thing they did or saw in the day right from brushing teeth to getting to bed.
In today’s time people keep so much to themselves it would be foolhardy to accept a very meaningful talk with someone who is not amongst your closest group. Even then there is the chance of upsetting a closed one and hence opinions and views are further curtailed. Coming back to point, we’ve grown accustomed to using this phrase that I’ve started to wonder that have we actually run out of things to talk about. I can’t remember one conversation with my friends (phone/mail) where under 5-10 minutes I hadn’t used ‘Aur Bataa’, ditto for others too.
This epidemic has brought up another question to my mind that has the new way of life of this generation led to a mass disinterest in the art of talking? Although tit seems highly unlikely, what with the subscription nos. for telecom companies hitting the roof. So what is it that is spreading this virus? A question that is more of a mystery than the most mysterious question of them al. Hell, even writing about it here has left me with very little things to talk about. I can’t seem to think up of anything new to add to what I’ve already written and I can see myself saying the same two words – “Aur Bataa.”

Sorry Bhaiya Aap Galat Aa Gaye – Take A U-Turn

A very common line spoken innumerable times a day around the globe in different dialects. I myself have said it so many times to god knows how many people. Today however I was on the receiving side. In a short span of 45 mins I heard the phrase at least 5 times. When you don’t know where you have to go and have to depend on people for directions you can’t be 100% sure whether you’re getting the right directions or not. Coupled with the other traffic moving along the whole process was in a way a nightmare.

The ‘Schumacher’ in me was tamed down to a snail. On a day when I clocked 122 km/h on my speedometer I was forced to drive at 35 km/h. The high of having driven at 122 in the morning – breaking all existing records on Delhi’s roads (even highways) was washed over by the journey later in the day. A series of U-Turns ensued where every time I got some new directions. Plus the pathetic condition of roads made it miserable under the sun. To top it all off the work we had planned to accomplish didn’t get done and here I am all broken and tired. My legs aching after having endured another 1.5 hr drive home and 3 long badminton games that were played at a stretch.

But do I regret it? Hell no. I have realized over the last two years that I love driving. I may not set out on a trip every other weekend but whenever I’m behind the wheel, I love it. Moving in and out of lanes and speeding (only little-wanna touch 150 someday). I simply love all of this. But sadly Delhi traffic doesn’t allow you to enjoy the drive. You will get stuck up in a jam somewhere for sure, crawling at 5 km/h. But I take it as a strong pill, swallowing it down. The fun and the excitement is there nonetheless.

How I wish I had a clear stretch with minimal traffic every time I move out, but so does everyone else too I guess. You gotta love driving when you’re sitting in that seat and no matter how tiresome or long the journey maybe, you won’t feel bad after it because you have just done something you really enjoyed. Like Dhoni says,”Padai kuch bhi ho, zindagi mein Pyaas honi chahiye.” So I can say mujhe driving ki pyaas hai (hehehe).

It wasn’t like this in the beginning when I first started driving. I was fed up of the traffic and my inexperience. There was a time when I didn’t even want to drive. But slowly I got used to the car and the feel of the wheel. I grew confident and soon it transformed into love. I know I don’t know a thing under the hood of the car but I know I love all that there is.

That’s why my heart aches whenever I hear unwanted sounds coming from the car. It’s like you hear a loved one cry and you know you can’t make him stop. If I look at it closely, I might be brought into thinking that someone doesn’t want me to drive but that’s my imagination running wild. Thus from hero (at 122) in the morning to zero (5-10) at night, I’ve surely had an eventful day……….

Happy Ending....????

Out on a moonlit night with your special someone by your side, you look deep into those mesmerizing eyes. (You are) searching for the answers to the questions haunting you for so long. Could it be? Have I found my one true love? The person I want to settle down with? Is this the love that everyone keeps talking about? You hold hands and smile. A satisfaction emerging from the knowledge that yes you have found what you have been looking for all along. No longer a simple crush, it is real and beautiful love. You believe deep inside your heart that your feelings are reciprocated.
With a sense of joy and elation, you take the plunge. The three most important words you will ever speak. The time you spent rehearsing them. Your heart is beating faster than normal today. You are nervous; bordering on the lines of terrified. You turn back from the brink. It is way too tough than you had imagined. But your strength regroups quickly. Pushing you forward again. You are worried about the outcome. What if the answer’s a no? You could lose your best friend. But if you don’t propose you might lose the love of your life.
Caught in the dilemma you are moving back and forth. The emotional backlash takes its toll on you and you give in. Throwing all inhibitions aside you make your move. Not knowing what to expect you say the three words. Five seconds pass and there is no response. You start panicking, ostracizing yourself for jeopardizing a wonderful friendship. Cursing for making the ill advised move. Ten seconds have passed by now and you break up in sweat. You turn your eyes back to your love and the expression nearly takes you out.
You see a smile, full of love and care. Your hopes rise. You see light at the end of the tunnel. You were not mistaken. You took the right step you feel, as you pat yourself on the back. The mouth opens to say something but closes right back. Choice of words at this point is very important. The lips part again, mesmerizing you with their slow movement.
Words start coming out, but you don’t understand them. It takes you some time to establish what is being said. An apology is being given, you think. Unable to make any sense of what’s going on you try hard to concentrate. Then the words sink in. Your effort, your love have been rejected. You were never looked at from that angle you hear. You were, are and always will be the best friend. Shattered to the bone you try to regroup. This has been more than a shock. You were certain that you were not alone, that your feelings were reciprocated.
But it was not to be. No amount of consoling could help you. You are stricken with grief. Friendship is intact though. You look around yourself. Ironically, all you see is couples in love. You ask why, why you were rejected. No answer could help you though and you know it. You move away taking up time to think. There was one error in your judgment that now seems pretty clear – You were expecting too much. You were expecting the same status that you had provided in your life. You were expecting love in return of love. A glaring flaw that was overlooked in the moments of excitement and anticipation.
Crestfallen you accept your fate. After all you tried. But what to do now? Do you still continue as before? Do you act as if nothing has happened? Can you? Can you stand the pain day in and day out? All the questions bombard you from everywhere. What should be your next step? You think of searching for a new person in your life. Somebody, you can have everything you had planned for with. But even while you search, you can’t figure out a way to let go of the past. It still props up to haunt you. You are sad and irritable because of it.
Then reckoning dawns and you try the formula you had always preached. You let go of the thing you love. If it comes back it’s yours, if it doesn’t it never was. You wait impatiently for that call/message. Nothing happens. You are dumbstruck. All this while it was you probably who was clinging on. You were the one making the items roll. This reality seems a harder blow than the previous one. You take it in your stride though. You move away thinking it’s for the best. Feeling betrayed you turn skeptical even hostile. You believe you will find love someday but you know you won’t fall for it as easily (as you did his time). You will be cautious. You will be ………… careful.

Worthy of Worship

"Sandese aate hain, hamein tadpate hain ki chitthi aayi hai ke puche jaati hai, ke ghar kab aaogey, likho kab aaogey, ki tum bin ye ghar suna suna hai........" Words that have stayed with me ever since i first heard them. The greiving and worried yet very very proud parents, siblings, children of every person enrolled into the Indian Armed Forces spend most of their lives in hope. They worry whether they'll see their loved ones again or not. They grieve when there is no news. They feel proud whenever the forces achieve a victory.
The devoted rendition of services rolled out by the over one million strong Indian army is something to take inspiration from. It's something that should be saluted. Working conditions are harsh (almost always) to say the least. No life security (and we crib about job security). Order driven regime (of the superiors). The hardships of bunkers and the crossfire with the enemy. These are but a few of the risks and problems our servicemen face each day with pride, dignity, love and passion. The virtues you'll find missing elsewhere in the country.
But what becomes of this cavallery? What happens to these men and women fighting the enemy day and night for us, so that we can sleep peacefully without fear at night. So that we can crib about a 10% increment but no medical increase. What becomes of them? A jawan died two weeks ago from the heavy firing from across the border. He left behind a wife and a six year old. The kid won't see his father again but he doesn't shed a tear for fear of making his mother cry. He knows and accepts that he is the man of the house now. Nobody knows how many times this story might have been repeated or what happened to these young tots (those 'lucky' enough to get highlighted - 15 seconds only though).
No one gets a mention, no memorial, no coverage, no news. Yet politicians die and get a memorial, a samadhi. People remmember their names and all the dates of their lives. What their children are saying and doing even though they might be talking about a deal only in the House. No one cares to come up and ask what the government is doing for the people, who are actually keeping it safe (neither the Left nor the Samajwadi party). What schemes (quotas) are being given to them for enabling us to live and breathe freely. Who pays condolences to the family of the deceased? Who will care for the brave men and women and their families when they are gone? A mere 500 a month pention!!!!!! You can splurge crores on the no. of sittings of the House but you can't ensure secure future of the the families of those fighting the enemy so that you can sit on your ass in the right and comfortable place.
Aren't they worthy of worship? Shouldn't they be treated equally if not more than the politicians whom we accord demi-god status and who still suck our blood for their pleasures. I am writing this feeling ashamed and saddened of what this country and its people (yes i'm also here) are doing to the persons who should be worshipped. They in essence are the givers of life after God ofcourse. But these humble souls never ask anything for their services. Acceptance and love is what they want from us. I don't know what should be done to take care of the personnels and their families but do hope that something is done so that someday we don't run out of the youth willing to join the forces.......

Vande Mataram

Inquilab Zindabad.. Sarfoaroshi ki tamanna ab hamare dil mein hai.. Dekhna hai zor kitna bazuey katil main hai. Mere words to some, passion to many and life to rest. Whatever they mean to different people today, three quarters of a century ago they were golden words engraved across the hearts of the millions and millions of people across the landscape of the country. Like fire smoking through a forest, like river water cutting stone. A beautiful song sung by many in as many movies made on the pre-independence era, these words carry lot of weight age when it comes to patriotism.
Every nation which has sacrificed a lot to gain independence from someone else whether external or internal has a theme which each generation adhere to and follow. I don’t know how patriotic India is today but I have reason to believe that these words instill some sense of belonging, of faith and dignity even in the unpatriotic of hearts. These and the other outcries of the independence from British indeed move one to tears. These were written and spoken by one and all from every region and religion in the country. Perhaps this is why they are so sacred because they don’t have any communal overtones to them.
India has fought a long and hard battle against independence from the British rule. Many lives were lost. Many atrocities were suffered. But it was not enough to deter the faithful and the believers. Shaheed Bhagat Singh and Chandrasekhar Azad-revolutionaries in there own respect were instrumental in arousing the youth at that time to stand and fight for the country. In their short but eventful life they did more than many who worked on different ideologies. It was their love and passion for country that has today accorded them cult status amongst the youth of the nation.
The Indian National Congress was formed in 1875 to mark the beginning of an organized struggle against the rule. But quickly under unassuming leadership the focus was lost. Independence got demoted and being n power (somewhat) gained precedence. The political class of the Congress was content with being handed out assurances while at the same time doling out innumerable speeches to the naïve public. With no body to oppose him and everybody willing to follow him, Gandhi saw an impassable opportunity. Something no one had ever done before and no one could ever repeat.
He had a commanding voice, shrewdness, knowledge-all the ingredients of a motivator. At his helm were congress leaders who had the support of the masses. He was intelligent enough to work with people’s feelings. Shrewd enough to know what is best and what needs to be done. Gandhi was just as opportunistic as any of the current breed of politicians. If it hadn’t been for Bhagat Singh and his call for ‘Purna Swaraj’ Congress would have continued to run the rant of Dominion status for another 20 years. Bhagat Singh in his short stint as revolutionary did what Gandhi couldn’t do in two decades.
His popularity grew quickly, rivaling that of Gandhi in less than 3 years. After centuries of exploitation and atrocities the Indians were fighting for something that was actually theirs-Independence.
Bhagat was not caught in a police raid. He surrendered willingly to gain a platform to reach out to the masses. He called upon the young generation to rise against the suppression and fight for independence. Gandhi worried at seeing his popularity slip had to do something. If he wanted he could have had Bhagat Singh, Sukhdev, Rajguru pardoned by the viceroy, but he didn’t. Any guesses why? Gandhi wanted to leave behind his legacy, of which he wanted no partners. Had the Bhagat Singh wave continued, he would have lost out and with it his legacy, his dream.
Bhagat Singh was thus hanged while Gandhi pressed on his feeble efforts for independence. To Gandhi, leadership was easily available. He could have easily become the PM of independent India. But he had other ideas. He knew that if he got involved in power politics he would lose his sheen. He wanted something else. Something that would make him stand out. What better title than ‘Father of the Nation’, having control over the new government and yet remain the ascetic he pretended to be in the eyes of the millions for centuries to come……..

Criticizing the Critic

It begins with a simple no. Ambling around to a small disapproval until the head rears and the whole idea/concept is utterly rejected/disregarded. Devoid of any taste it was, says the head. To the utter dismay of the hapless victim, he realizes, he’s just been harshly criticized. The victim with his head hung low, trudges away, mourning the loss and wondering where he had faltered. The onlookers, having got nothing else to do in their lives, these pitiful souls, they run up to the grieving victim, offer him their condolences and in a typical fashion denigrate the critic for his words. After all, critics are useless people and nobody really needs them anyways, isn’t it?
In this world where everyone has an opinion on everything under the sun, it becomes important as to whose opinion would you listen to along with whether the opinion makes any sense to you or not. Criticism in some sense can be taken as an individual’s opinion. What is absent though amongst all the opinions floating freely in the upper atmosphere is sound logic. This is what separates criticism from general opinion. Criticism is always accompanied by logic and reasoning. The whole thought process behind the judgment is clearly enunciated. Like everywhere else here too there are two sides of the coin. On one hand there is healthy criticism and on the other destructive criticism.
While the former appreciates the topic at hand and uses a mild tone to highlight the negatives, the latter uses a harsh tone and focuses mainly on the negatives. Magnifying the faults while completely ignoring the positives, Destructive Criticism takes shape out of circumstances. Sometimes warranted and sometimes not, it forms an integral part of a critic’s arsenal. To many critics it sometimes becomes a savior, an assertive call to let the prey know who the real king is.
But where lies the fun/excitement? One might wonder why critics do what they do. Can it be all that fun to poke fingers at others and highlight their shortcomings? Good questions i.e. if you don’t know what criticism is all about. Criticism is not about highlighting the faults. It’s also not about talking down to others. Criticism is an art. It takes time and a lot of thinking goes into it. You have to delve deep into the individual’s mind and come up with a theory, a theory which supplements your judgment. A critic has to analyze the thought process of the individual involved by taking clues from his work. Criticism without the logical theory backing it is as bland and phony as a toy phone placed in a phone booth.
Not only does the theory provides credence to the critic’s judgment but also eliminates the basis for counterarguments. Any good critic, worth his words, will always put up an unbiased/impartial view to his readers. He delves into positives along with negatives of the issue at hand. Critics can be harsh and blunt at times but that is the need of the hour. Critics recognize the importance they hold and what weightage do their comments carry amongst the general public. Their continuous efforts make everyone around them perform at his level best by projecting the faults as possible scope of improvements.
At a time when even a small disagreement can lead to acrimony in some cases enmity, being a critic takes a hell lot of courage. Being a critic is no walk in the park, critics are ironically the guys who get the most criticism for their work. But often, it is borne out of sheer resentment rather than sound logic. Nevertheless it’s something they expect out of others too, whom they criticize to take it on the chin and work to remove the inadequacies. All the victims of criticism should thus instead of grieving sit up and analyze the faults and rectify them to earn the praise of everyone….. even the critic.

Maula Mere Le Le Meri Jaan

“Mar jayenge/Kat jayenge Sukhan Lal Ji, magar harke nahin aayenge.” The words which heard at the right time from the right person and at the right moment almost made me cry in support of the tricolor. Mood changed from jovial to a devoted seriousness towards the nation. Yes the words are from ‘Chak De India!!!’ when the women’s hockey team had reached the finals of world cup. This movie sums up what cinema should actually be all about. The role movies play in our day to day lives is more than just a 2.5 hr. entertainment piece. The social and emotional message that they send out to the masses can literally change lives of many. But isn’t that what cinema must do?
Chak De along with a host of other films including RDB, Khosla ka Ghosla, Black, Aamir to name a few from top of my mind, have special messages that are conveyed to the society in different ways. Not only are the performances good (though not all films include the superstars in flamboyant roles) but the script, choreography and above all the direction of these films have been astounding. The skill to get the most out of the actors standing in front of you and make them deliver the strong performances is truly commendable. I have spoken this before and I reiterate it now that whenever a human being stands apart from the crowd by having a masterpiece of his work showcased in front of the millions, it truly is a special feeling to be a part of it.
In current context, to see what people can do to films and actors with their skills is truly fascinating. Although there may be many moments in movies that move people but there are some that linger on in the memory and stay with them to remind them time and again that in some small, irrelevant way they were part of history. For if any of the movies being made can have an impact on the society and make it change its ways to look at things in a positive manner and work for the betterment of everyone, I guess you are part of history.
Agreed cinema can not be curtailed to movies delivering social messages only. There must be light hearted comedies or dark thrillers or even down right action movies too, for the movie makers have to cater to a larger audience with different tastes. But is it not a shortfall on our part if we can not take a message from these films too. Films need not be all about goals and messages. They can be light hearted like OSO, Bheja Fry etc. But if we take a closer look here we might be able to see the not so obvious message. In case of OSO – the whole movie revolves around one theme – “Picture abhi baki hai.” It tells us that one should not lose hope, ever. That’s a strong message hidden amongst the glitz and star power.
I know what I’m essaying here might not find acceptance with a lot of people. The most common comment I would receive might be – “We can’t go about looking for hidden messages everywhere. Films are for fun only.” I agree that is true but if you can find such lessons then isn’t it worthwhile to adhere to them. After all we aren’t perfect by a long shot. This is what we should be doing all the time instead of only when somebody points it out to us…………..

Crazy Little Thing Called LEFT

We will fight for the good of the common man. We will oppose every move to bring foreign investment to India because it will endanger the jobs of the hapless poor. We want to see India grow but cannot allow trade with the developed world. India should stay away from capitalism and embrace communism. China which holds a third of Kashmir as captive is our true friend while America is the biggest threat. The public sector units should be managed by inefficient people if necessary but control to private sector is totally prohibitive. We should subsidize every commodity in the market to help the common man even though it causes huge losses to the treasury.

Don’t be surprised. This is just an assimilation of the numerous speeches given out by the leaders of the Left parties over the decades. The archaic ideology, senility settled down in the cadres of the party, the octogenarian patriarchs….. all this is what the Left has come to symbolize today. The ever present blockade to any kind of growth plans the government might have, the Left parties can be assumed to be at the fore front of every dharna, gherao, bandh that you might come across in any part of the country. A personal opinion it might be, but, I doubt that outside the party lines and the camaraderie any sane Indian actually likes the Left policies. Their following among the masses owes more to tradition and brutal force rather than anything else. The failed and outdated ideology is what they have managed to cling on to even today.

Some say that the biggest FDI India has received in its history is the entry of communist ideology amongst the citizens and political parties. Their true intentions can never be gauged easily. What is the logic behind the decisions and statements made by the party heads is totally lost on me. Otherwise how could you explain the pullout of Marxist cadres from the Quit India Movement of 1942 at the last moment with the quote that the party had changed its thinking on the matter. Or how could one forget the call to usurp the newly established government in 1950’s with an armed uprising only to back down at the last minute and leave the hapless comrades to suffer the retaliation of the government forces while the party heads coolly made it in and out of jails without much delay or fuss.

In the nation where everyone denounces the emergency of 1975 till date, CPI was the only political party in support of it (apart from Congress of course). The communist ideology has failed in today’s time but the Left seems to cling on to it harder than a drowning man would to a floating plank. The rigidity in the party structure and the lack of young blood/generation amongst the party ranks has left the CPI, CPI (M) without any leader with remotely charismatic personality in its ranks. One of the major reasons Left has managed to stay put in the political circles is because of the feared ‘comrade raj’ in every state it holds a presence in. Brute force is what has helped Left to survive the tide of time. A good example – Quenching of protests in Nandigram in 2007 over land relocation issue.

At a time when the communist parties all over the world are shifting their stance to be more receptive to foreign investments and development projects and funds, the Indian faction continues to live by the ideology set by Marx in 1920’s. The hardcore communist regimes of Russia and China too have softened so much over the past decades. So much so that China today is the biggest receiver of FDI in the world. It has allowed unrestricted access to its territory to foreign players while the CPI threatens to bring the government down on talks of offloading government holdings in the companies. Their efforts concentrate more on getting done what they think is right rather than what is good for the nation as a whole.

The angst of the Left over the hike in fuel prices when every oil company was suffering huge losses due to crude price rise globally is quite bewildering. The funds that government has to cough up to make up for these losses have to come from somewhere. Most of the times it comes from the funds allocated for rural development and healthcare projects for the poor. So the proponents of pro-poor policy are taking away the funds that were allocated for the development of the poor in the first place. So who’s good are the Left parties really thinking when they oppose the price hike?

All this seems to reflect that the ideology of the left parties is not clearly thought through. How would otherwise explain their current stand in the face-off against the government over the nuclear deal. Knowing that they don’t stand a chance to bag majority in the elections if they are held now and accepting that they don’t want to see a BJP government at the centre, they are left with only Congress government at the centre as an option which not surprisingly is what we have right now. So why anyone in his right mind would topple a stable government just few months before polls when it wants the same government after the polls in the first place?

Hard to understand or defend the logic behind the decisions taken by the Left we are but mere bystanders to the political circus that is the Left we can only hope that people fight against the atrocities of Left and give them a resounding defeat so that they stay away from all kinds of decision making in the country…………
P.S. – Author is a non-political entity who opposes everything related to Left.

Pairi Padan

An oft repeated phrase in every gathering of family and relatives, 'Pairi Padan/Pai Lagoon' has survived for god knows how long in our dialect. It is the quintessential greeting between two relatives whenever and wherever they chance to meet. We as the young ones are instructed by our dear parents "Beta ye tumhare uncle/aunt/grand-relatives hain, inke pair chuo." And we being the obedient misfits do as told without thinking about it. Bending down in whatever minimal space we might have, to touch the feet of the elderly/not so elderly person standing in front of us. This act of respect is intended more for the latter's blessings than the formers backbone exercise.
But over the years the value of this exercise seems to be lost to me. I mean what is the point? Do the elderly give their blessings only on having their feet touched? Ok, it might be a gesture of respect and reverence, agreed, but i wonder when you don't know a person and probably would never see him/her again in your life, is he/she really appreciative of you to give their heart felt blessings after just a small gesture which may or may not amount to a lot in the first place. I mean if you really consider it, you are giving your blessings to a total stranger on the pretext of family. You don't do that to every person you might meet on the road, do you? So what makes it special in the familial circles?
Coupled with all that is the intent behind the initial gesture of respect. Majority of the times this gesture is thrust upon us rather than coming from the heart as it rightly should. You are left in a very uncomfortable situation where you get to learn about the long and distant relationship you might have with the other party. Where do you go and find that immediate respect when you don't know the person standing in front of you. I remember one particular family gathering where my mom tugged at my arm and took me a to a line of aunt's sitting on the chairs sipping cola. So there i was bending down, seeking blessings, standing up, moving a step forward and repeating the exercise. A matter of fact, by the time i reached aunt no. 4 i had forgotten who was aunt no. 1 and today i don't even remember who all were sitting there that night in those chairs.
Well all this may sound blasphemous to the ones having really strong family ties but i believe that respect should come from the heart. You can't create respect at t=0. So it would be better if people think about what and why they are doing things (even if its a small thing). But having been put through numerous instances of being introduced to strangers and instructed to touch the feet i would say that I'm not complaining. Sure the situation amuses me and i find the whole exercise futile but i know my respects come from the heart most of the times and are fabricated only in few cases although i'm not very sure about the blessings..................

A Salute

The moment was special.Not liking what is happening you go back in time to the very moment that started it all.You think about the stuff that had happened.You think why you don't remmember a thing.You strive hard to remmember it.You are fighting yourself to focus on that lost link that separates you from what you are and what you were.What happens when this fight becomes so great that it actually takes you back in time and you have the one chance to change the circumstances.You can change how the incident would affect your life.You think you can play god.You think it will be good for everyone involved.But you are not God.So where does that leave you.You have changed history but still it leaves you no where.
This is the story of The Butterfly Effect(2004) the movie.This was one hell of a movie which i must admit has left a deep impression on me.You can not believe the things that are going on in the head of the guy.You think either you are crazy or the movie itself is bogus,but as it turns out its neither of the two.The end leaves you speechless and in shear admiration of the talent that men can possess.What they can do with their minds.It was the moment that transcended time and the euphoria that ensued was something that comes not too often after watching a movie(atleast for me).
I must admit i am a movie buff.I like to watch anything that can be termed ok. So one would think that such moments would be far more common than what is being made out here.But this moment was really special.I am a great admirer of human skills.Skills that make you stand out from others.Things that can make people sit up and take notice of you.This movie was one of those things where the mere name will always ignite in you that special reckoning of having seen something really special and fantastic.Its a salute to all the directors and actors out there who with their endeavours are trying to make cinema that is different.Which is somehow away from the mainstream action/romantic themes.Movies which make you think the meaning of life.The purpose and the means of existence of human life.
I would want everyone reading this blog to watch this movie asap so that you can relate what this talk is all about.Maybe then you'll better understand my point of view.It's been 7 days now i think since i saw it but still the images are so clear,the sequences everything is so fresh and everytime i think about it a smile crops up on my face signalling the wonders that we as humans are capable of.........

India needs an Obama??!!!!Really!!!!

There is a background article on what i am writing here.Its the one posted by rajdeep sardesai on his/IBNLIVE's blog.So please read that if you can't connect with what is being talked about.The article on the other blog talks about the Indian political scene and how India needs more Obama like politicians.I had written a reponse to that blog which i am currently pasting here.So here goes....................
We love to sit in our chairs in front of our laptops and point fingers at everything that is not right with this country.Be it politics,sports,society,bureaucracy or any other thing.Just like we have an article here exhorting the status of the Indian political system and extolling one followed by US.How what they do smacks of professionalism and India's reeks of everything bad you can think of.How money plays a big role in Indian Politics.Newsflash...even in the US the election tickets are distributed on money power.The more money you can conjure up the better are your chances of landing a nomination for the senate.Infact politics and money poer have been synonymous for eternity everywhere in this world.
So to think that the distribution of tickets in India alone is not meritorious is completely flawed.A multi party system is always difficult to manage especially in a country like India.The system that we have in our country was setup by the very guys who got us independence in the first place.So to question what they might have thought is not such a good idea as they thought well enough for India to be a sovereign,secular,socialist democratic,republic for which we are clearly grateful.
We love to hate the political class that is ruling us.Criticise the system that we live in,yet do nothing at all to improve it.A very good line I remember from the movie Page3 – "You have to be in the system to change the system."But are we really ready to do that.If someone today can stand up and question us why we can’t produce men like Obama in our country, the answer doesn’t lie with the system.We ourselves don’t want to get involve in this dirt and get our hands dirty while cleaning the gutters.I say its the public who is at fault in bringing up a totally corrupt and inefficient system.If we change ourselves the system would change automatically as it is we who are driving the system and not vice versa.
I ask you why the youth of India has not stepped forward through their efforts and done something to change the system that we all hate.Why the all powerful media posts comments and questions to the public when all it really wants to do is sensationalise everything it sets its eyes on in order to maximise its revenues.I think the time for blame game has long gone and we as conscientious citizens must do something to bring our country out of this mess.But what can we do?Like the millions out there,I can sit back infront of my laptop and right stuff and again criticize someone and feel my job is done.But is it really?Do we need a figure like Obama to wake us from this sleep of indifference?I think we don't need to do different things to change the system.All we need is to do the things differently.That should be enough to get us through.What say people....Come on India.................................

Nostalgia

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Why does my heart feel so bad

What happens when you in some way hurt someone who has hurt you? You knew that what ever you are doing might hurt the other person. You don't want that to happen but you also want to let the other person know that you were hurt by his/her behaviour/comments. You have that feeling of sadness inside you that has been there for so long that now you almost feel incomplete without it. You have that frustration that anger that you want to vent out on someone. You have that need that craving to let it all out of your system. You want to say what you want to but haven't been able to.
What do you do? You find a medium for your expressions. You find something that you can openly do without needing anybody else to take that ball of fire raging inside you and slam it for a homerun out of the park. When it comes down to it the best way to truly express yourself is through writing. You can't physically harm anyone. Emotionally yes, maybe a lot more than you could physically but in this doog eat dog world do we really care about anyone else but ourselves. I am all for philanthrophy and not troubling others and hurting them even at the expense of my discomfort, a small price to pay i would say. But what happens when that small discomfort becomes a big pool of pain and sorrow and the mere mention of it brings your life to a standstill. Can you still follow those rules and still be as good nature as you have been.?
I can't. I admit i just can't. I can stand pain and sorrow but there is a limit to how much i can take. So when that limit is crossed i would say the dam of patience and silence would break. The rush of feelings gate crashing through life and sweeping away every emotion that had been stored. Washing away the pain and making the slate clean, partially. Whenever a dam breaks it can cause havoc in lives of many. So coming back to the point. What happens when some of your actions hurt someone else who has hurt you a lot. How do you feel then? Do you feel sad because you never like to hurt anyone and don't want to be the reason for anyone's sorrow? or do you feel a bit vengeful knowing that the other person too has gone through the pain which you have gone through? Do you feel happy that maybe now he/she realise the mistakes they have made, the hurt they have caused?
I am divided on this point as i don't know what to feel. I hate hurting others. If it were in my hands i would never dream of hurting anyone in my life. I know i would still be hurt by someone or the other in my life but still i don't wish evil of anyone that i know of. After all who am i to pass judgement on their deeds. The lord almighty is capable enough to handle that. But i also do want to let the persons know that i'm hurting because of them. So what should i feel? This question has been bugging me for 2 days now and i still can't seem to get an answer to it. What i do know is that i'm sorry if i hurt someone through my actions/comments/behaviour but if its the truth thats the cause of the hurt then i ain't sorry. I mean if im hurting someone by speaking the truth then i won't say im sorry. People are mature enough to accept reality, know the truth. If they are not then it's their fault. Not everybody will be nice to them forever if they continue like this. Its time to wake up and face it - This world is not a fairytale. You have to struggle for every bit of happiness you want. You have to facve the ups and downs. But above all there will always be people there to hurt you but what you must keep in mind is to take care of those who are always there to help you. If you forget that part then it will always be a steep downfall for you and in some cases the persons who love you....................

A Tribute

Recently i saw two wonderful movies, both of contrasting style and setting but both of them had a theme in common..depicting the human misery in different situations under different circumstances. Both you can say have left a lasting impression on me and made me think and believe in life a lot more than i used to. We crave for happyness in our lives, we yearn for money,freedom,love and everything else that anybody can want. Woefully ignorant of others we throw a tantrum whenever we are not given what we want. We never stop to thank the people who have given us so much over the years. We still need more, want more. We say wee have faced and known the worst and nothing can be compared to what we have been through. I too am one of the group i agree, I can't deny it.

But having seen those two movies that day irealsied how lucky and fortunate i really am. Whatever i saw in those movies was something i could relate to. It was something i knew could very well be true somewhere or the other in this world and going on quietly with no one knowing about it. I'm talking about Khuda Ke Liye & Pursuit of Happyness. Two wonderfully made films with sound screenplay and strong performances. I was left speechless after both of them. The struggle of women in this world especially in the name of religion and the very ideology of arms before peace that is being followed in the world today leaves me shattered. Whatever i saw on the screen might be actually happening to somebody at this moment. To live through like this is not an easy task. Days passing by you wonder whether living like this is better or maybe suicide a better option. I don't know if i will be able to answer that question because frankly i have had it pretty easy till now with everyone around me always ready to protect me. I shudder at the thought of that bastard selling his daughter to save his image in community, something he never cared for all his life. If fathers can be so devillish who needs the devil himself on earth. I pray for the souls of the people undergoing such misery today and wish they find a better life next time around as this one is totally ruined.

Coming to the second movie Pursuit....a powerful performance by Will Smith have to agree. He is one guy who has grown in respect in my eyes with his every single career move. Having seen and listened to him since his days of Fresh Prince of Belair, I always regarded him as much of a comic who would not be able to deliver the goods when it came to drama simply because he was so good at comedy and i couldn't see him in any other role. But surprise surprise, he came out all trumps with a soulful and moving performance of a man battling life for a chance of survival in a city where he has so many responsibilites and not a dime to pay for them. Sleeping in trains at night with his 5 yr old son on his lap or spending the night in a station toilet as they don't have money to rent a room. From there acing an exam for stock broking and finally living a life he has wanted to live for so long. That shows the grit and determination of that individual to face the reality and the responsibilities head on and not bowing to the pressure. Going through everyday life with his head held high and not letting anyone know even a grain of his hardships and troubles is something truly commendable. I don't have to look far for an example here ladies and gentlemen as it is a true life story of Chris Gardner. I salute that man for all the pain he has been through and still come out on top when everybody around him didnt give him any chance.

These movies have showed how hard life can be on you and how best can you cope with it, without complaining, without whinning but by simply taking evrything in stride and moving on to what you can do to make the situation better. I can honestly say that whenever i'm sad the next time kin life i can look back upon the people i have seen here and honestly say to myself to shut up and carry on you are far better off than them. Life has been good to us all i think. Its just that we don't know when to say enough. We always want more, nothing can suppress our want or quell our thirst for it. But wouldn't life be a lot simpler a lot easier if we just stopped for a moment to think for others who are much worse off and who actually are in need of pure Happiness

This part of my life is called SADNESS

Over the past couple of days i have tried long and hard to overcome the pain and grief that has surrounded me for over 2 months now. I have been more like a dead body than a living being this past month and a half. Being sadd all the time, shunning away happyness. Trying to remain reclusive to ponder to think to grieve basically for the monumental losses i hv suffered. I have been a spoilsport on more than one of the occassions. Fact is i never thought that it all would happen like this, that it would end this way. No way left for me to go, nothing left for me to do. It was more like i wanted to remain in this state more than anything else.
Its not that nobody noticed this state of mine. They did, offered help talked to me about the virtues of moving on, leaving everything behind. But i wasn't ready to accept the fact that i have lost it all like in a bet where you put at stake your own soul, much like the pandavas. But the fact is i didnt raise the stakes, they were already dead against in my favour. To win the wager from there was an up hill task, i knew that. What i didnt know was what it would be like to lose everything along with losing the bet.
To begin with i lost the best friend i ever had in life. Guess we both weren't ready to face the reality that our friendship had deteriorated beyond the point of resurrection. A poor attempt i had put in i must admit but it was from my side. Like they say...TALI EK HAATH SE NAI BAJTI i got to know the real meaning of it first hand. People say that you must always give in love and expect very less in return but i think that it is very hard to achieve much like the holy grail that everyone craves for but only a few(if at all) have ever attained. To see your love and affection ignored and avoided like something ugly and sinful can be really painful.
I understand that people have their reasons for doing what they do and i know that I won't dictate their lives and their actions ever but still i would love to have an explanation, a chat, a talk about it. If not for anything else, to just improve myself to make myself a better man. Alas, wish and hope is something i can't afford on this issue.
Another setback i have received is the agonizing knowledge that i have another year to spend before i could again dream of doing what i have dreamt of doing for the past 4 years(mba). Having been among the top 1000 guys who got the calls i couldn't make i to the first 200. The pain of having something you loved so much slip away from your hands with the full knowledge that it will never return to you again is something which is very hard to live by.
But even in these tragic times i've tried my best to keep my mind away from all this . I'm finding ways to take my mind all of this but somehow someday something happens which brings these memories flooding right back. So no matter how hard i try i still am reminded of them. Personally i believe i have moved on from all the sadness that i am much more sober much more normal than i was some 2 weeks back. But the very idea of these memories is enough to bring my life to a standstill like an arrow finding its mark or the bullet hitting the target.
Dramatic it all may sound but all this had to get out in search of a way to maybe get over this period of pain and sadness and maybe just maybe starting over again. Turning a new leaf, begin a new chapter, a different beat maybe................

Clarfication

Ever since i wrote my last article i have received a lot of suggestions and been part of a few discussions where i have been told that one can not stop loving in life. One incident should not allow you to change your attitude towards love. Whatever happens you should not give up on love etc. etc.....
I have thought about this and have come to the conclusion that whatever it was that i wanted to convey didn't get through to the people reading the article. Maybe if i rephrased it all it could be better understood. So I'm here today to offer an explanation as to what i really wanted to say when i wrote that article.
I agree i have been hurt badly in love. I stand here and say that we would be better off not being in love at all than to be hurt by the very persons we have loved so much. It simply means that i would today give anything to take away the pain and hurt that i have and still going through , to never remind of it again, much like it never happened. Also I have in no way changed my views on love as a feeling. I say that one day i might fall in love again and yes i look forward to that day but i would be a lot more cautious of the people and a bit more circumspect to avoid this kind of heartache.
I agree that all relationships cannot last a life time and there will be some pain/hurt even in the best of the relationships but that won't stop me from being cautious. So i guess now i might have answered few of the doubts raised that needed clarification........

What is Love..Baby don't hurt me..don't hurt me no more...

ishq waise hai ek aandhi ishq hai ek toofan....ishq ke aagey bebas hain duniyan mein har insaan...these are the words that make the day worthwhile for everyone. Every single being on this planet wants to love someone and be loved in return. Love is something one always craves for. Something you need in your life to make it feel complete. Surely your family as a support is there always, but they don't make the cut. They are there for the more mundane tasks, because when you are in love you have that heady feeling of aloofness when all else cease to matter. You want to spend all your time with your loved one. Breaking other engagements for that one date of say even an hour.

You might ask yourself what does this guy want writing about stuff we either know already about or don't want to know. Well to remove your doubt/misery i am here today to contest the very important phrase in human history that has been so often thrown around like a rag over the ages - ITS BETTER TO HAVE LOVED AND LOST THAN TO HAVE NEVER LOVED. First and foremost i want to meet the bloody person who said wrote this line in the first place.was he really crazy or did he not understand the real intricacies of love and was merely a bystander or did he not lose his love at all. I had always believed in this line and for so long that i could never think of it being untrue.But now at this point of time in my life i must admit my belief has been shaken.

Yes its true that there is nothing like love in this world.The aroma of love when it spreads gives you such a high that i don't think you'll need drugs anymore.The feeling inside you to hear that voice, see that face, that smile that laugh, it all can be very intoxicating.so much so you lose yourself in that sensation leaving behind everything you like and would not miss for anything else in the world.Love can change your life in ways more than you can ever imagine.But what happens when the one person you love and devoted your entire time on kicks you away like a football.having used you for their own purposes they now think they don' need you anymore in their lives because maybe they aren't sad anymore and don't need any shoulder to cry on. Or maybe it can be that they have found someone else to replace you in their lives. What happens then?

What should a person do in such a situation?Crestfallen from the hurt and pain that they are going through they stare as blind men into the sky or seek places of solitude to bury their pain.They don't understand why they are going through all this.What wrong have they done. All they did was love a certain someone with all their heart and thought that one day their efforts will be rewarded when the person concerned would acknowledge their role/presence in their lives.But that dream is not to be just like Alexander the Great fell short of conquering the world though many say he still did what no one else could repeat.But go and ask Alexander is he satisfied with that explanation?I bet you would not get a happy response.

So to come back to the point, i say that whoever said it was best to have loved and lost than to never have loved must never have lost his/her love.For as god as my witness i can stand here and say that i was better off never to have loved than to lose whatever i loved in a manner that i beg the lord to not inflict on anyone else.I cry for help from the almighty to explain to me why i was made to go through all this pain and why if i did indeed had to he didn't give me a strong heart to support it, to challenge it and in the end defeat it.This isn't a cry for sympathy as you might think but a resolve to strengthen myself against all further incidents. I don't say i will never love again, but i will surely be much more careful to give it away easily..........

In Pursuit of Happiness

Over the past couple of days i have thought about writing something on this page.....but whenever i open the link i somehow ween myself away from it.Its like i didnt want to write anymore.A tumultous month has left me literally in tatters....coming to terms with the bitter reality is taking time.All the factors put in a couldron stoked by the raging fire from hell...i feel that the angels of darkness are doin their everybit to keep me this way while the angels of light are busy somewhere vacationing.Maybe this is what the elders used to call the dark ages, it sure feels like that i can say.
Suddenly the promise of cheer is gone.No avenue from where a ray of hope or happiness might creep in.This condition has brought me to a point where i find myself trapped in a state of sorrow, no escape route visible.I feel like having been left here to live with the solitude that i have hated all my life and the state i have tried running away from all these years.Flashes of happiness spread across a galaxy of darkness has brought my vision to a standstill.The promisee of sun rising on the horizon has long been forgotten and the ever increasing darkness is trying to engulf whatever that remains in my mind of the once so happy place.
The struggle against this onslaught has been weak i must admit although i knew that it was coming. Letting it run over me like a sheep left alone in a pack of wolves. Thought not fully destroyed yet but i have to admit the flamboyant spirit has been dented. The once no care in this world attitude has suffered a big jolt and the perception has been altered. Gone are those days now and a much more sophisticated, a much more analysed approach will need to be taken to live with this darkness that surrounds me now.
But here i stop and wonder.Can it be?Can i let things be and try and move around them to avoid conflict/confrontation?Am i so fond of comfort that i'm not willing to fight for something that should be mine.My frredom, my light, my life, my love. So the bigger question now arises from the dust just like the rise of the Phoenix, Can i be such a coward to drop my arms before all and everything in this world?Is there a warrior spirit in me that says,"300 against 10,000 lets bring it."or the words of wisdom,"big chance of defeat small chance of success, what are we waiting for?"I believe that there is. A day will come when my spirit will break,my body will fail me,i will come to an end but this will not be this day.This day I fight.
The fire of passion will put to pieces the burning fire of hell stoking the couldron and i will emerge from this darkness of sadness surrounding me to be what i used to be and much more.But before all that is to happen i have to find a light to get to my bed....................

Donning the DON

Now when i first started writing my blog i couldnt find a good enough domain name with the travails of having a very very common name...(saurabh) so i had to rake my brains a lot...
then i hit upon this.....DONNING THE DON......Taken from my college nickname DON, so thought this would suit the domain name perfectly well...donning the mantle and living up to the name....or rather why is it that people call me that.
Any body who knows me (since college) has always asked me one thing when they meet me or come to know about me & the DON i.e. why i am called DON?well this credit goes to two of my very good frnds....Mr. Shijo K Joshua and Mr.Shailender Singh Negi(chota from hereon).A rather inconspicuous event and i had no idea that such a thing would become so big that hardly ne1 from college knows my real name now..and even in my office nobody (except for my seniors) call me by my real name.
So wat really happened?well i was in second year-the early days....oh the freshness of being some1's senior...the wish to rag the others the way we had been.....u knw wat im talkin abt....
we have all been thru that phase...well i was doin th same nthn etc..nd i wsnt alone...
i had a group of frnds wid me ragging a group of three....i don't think i went overboard i doubt tht seriously...but acording to chota and shijo, i did and they struck up wid the name and till date (5.5 yrs almost) i have been known by that name alone....hate it till date but hv learnt to live wid it....So now,there it is not a hilarious story but a Light Hearted one no doubt...a respite from my earlier write ups and the seriousness entailed....though i doubt this phase might not last for long.........newaz...abhi ke liye kafi hai....baad mein kuch aur likhenge

Butchers,Barbarians,Robbers-The story of Nehru/Gandhi Dynasty

Well the events of past week have certainly given my thoughts a new dimension.Till now i was oblivious to the truth,to what has happened but now after having learnt it all i must say im sick,sick of wat these ppl have done and are doin to this lovely country of ours.They have EXISTED for more than 100 years.

But during this time they have used all their strength to ruin this country of ours.The extended British Rule,they didnt want the british to leave(asking for dominion status).Had it not been for Bhagat Singh's call for full Independence we might not have seen the light of day for the next 15-20 yrs.After that the partition,the strife caused which is haunting us to this day.The greed for power by the Clan/dynasty in Indian Politics has brought one of the biggest mistakes committed in the world.

The over zealous mother who needed all the power all the time and couldn't let her own son take the limelight,result son murdered.The slow reaction to every terror strike,every infiltration bid,hell they even let a former PM assassinated,one of their own family just like his brother.What do we hear now that the very conspirator and the accused has been granted Life term from Death Sentence on a mercy petition filed by none other than the man's wife.What have they not done to stay in power.They have killed their own kin let alone the others they killed to ensure their success.

I ask you today what has Congress in its 123 yrs of existence ever done for India except ruin the nation once so glorious and made it to be ranked amongst the lowly of nations in the world.The sheen,splendour gone.Looted away by none other than the Nehru-Gandhi dynasty that has ruled India for a Century now(almost).They are the perfect allies for everry terror outfit in the world and god knows when the innocent people of this country will wake up and see what these bloody butchers have done to them,their fellow country men and to this nation, once called the THE GOLDEN BIRD.

Is There Any Good Left

As days go by i feel myself moving away from things i have cherished for so long.Growing up is tough and seeing things around you change has a dramatic effect on you.It can totally change you or your outlook towards life.World as wee know it today has changed a lot from say a decade ago and it will continue to change in the coming years.But at israpid change i'm feeling lost and wondering what is actually going on.People are not what they used to be.No more friendliness(let alone friends),no more senstivity.It saddens me that we humans as a race are treading on a path which will only result in pain,suffering,bitterness,hatred and the likes.
Today when i see around and listen/read news all i can hear about is Assault, Robbery, Rape, Murder, Bribery etc..What is this?I know that these have existed in the human society for centuries if not ages but what depresses me the most is the increased no. of such incidents that we come across in our daily lives today and added to that is the age of the culprits & the victims involved.It seems like the "Young Generation" of today (I'm involved too, I know) has stopped caring about the results of their actions.I somehow feel they don't know why they are doing this even.There is just some unseen hand guiding them through these events like the angels of Hell working their magic to lead this race to a premature end.
There is so much vileness today that I have begun to wonder that is ther any thing good left in this world?Is there anywhere on this planet something good that we can look forward to, to change our lives,make the situation better?I believe there is.I think there is something that the world can hang on to, that there is still some good left in these dark times and will continue to be there but only getting tougher and tougher to find.Now i don't say do this or do that or you are doing wrong or right.All i am saying is that whatever it is that you are planning to do or the action you are planning to take, think about it and see whether you would like to see something similar done to you or your family.If the answer to that question is Yes then my friends there is nothing on this earth that should stop you from doing it but if its a No then you needn't look beyond yourself for restrain.
So with this thought in mind I'm signing off today with many things left unsaid but yet i hope undertood...............tc & God Bless Us All

What Women Want

Another oft repeated topic but kya karein dil hai ki maanta nahin.well i know everyone must surely have an opinion on this topic but wat's the harm if i just went ahead and expressed my own.To begin with we have had countless mails circulated where people have made fun of wat actually goes through a women's mind,we have had our share of laughs on reading the jokes.there is the other nerdy group too which has spent most of its life trying to figure out the intricacies of women psychology coming out with new findings and results every fortnight or so.But to be rally sure whether those can be generalised to all the women in the world is somewhat far fetched.
people say that women are the more sensitive of human beings.They are more emotional.But what i would like to ask these people is that do not men show emotions.Don't they care for their loved ones or for others even for that matter.Fact is we are better able to control our emotions which gives rise to the fib that men are less emotional than women.Now i know what i write here might not sound pleasing to a lot of peope but then again i can't do anything about it.I'm not here to please everyone.Though your comments are always welcome.Coming back to topic i would like to remind all the guys out there who have in any capacity cared for a girl in their lives.How is it that their one smile/laugh/grimace can change our entire mood and we become so helpless and actually enjoy being in that state.
This is the control women have over us.Their one request could mean everything for us.It's not to say that we don't enjoy doing it.We love it to the core but what i want to highlight is the fact that we are so enchanted by their stance that there is nothing we can do.We act as slaves in their company doing their bidding though they don't mean it at all.Women have for a long time if not from the start had their way with men.They are the supreme manipulators.They can do whatever they want whenever they want to us and we'll be glad still.That's just the beauty of it.You wish to have control over others so you go bully people to show your strength or intimidate others to get what you want.Women don't need all that.
Women for their part are a confused lot.This i think everyone will agree with me on(atleast i think so).They are never really sure what they actually want themselves.Some do and they are very good at it too but the concept can not be generalised.Women actually try to run so many things in their mind at a given point that they end up being confused about the real thing at hand.This sometimes helps them in getting labeled as "dumbo",though they can't do anything about it.They just act this way because they expect us men to understand what they want to say automatically.I mean whatever is running through their minds,whatever is it that they want us to tell, they somehow feel that we should be knowing that already.We needn't be told about it by them.
This is a very surprising line of thought.How can we know what is running through their minds yaar.If we knew i wouldn't be sitting and writing this stuff right now.But wat can we do this is wat is expected of us.This is why it becomes so difficult to talk to women sometimes.What they don't understand is that we guys generally don't like to fret about stuff we have no idea of.We prefer being told things rather than being given subtle hints which are so difficult to understand.This is why you see so many couples breaking up today.Frankly speaking two guys can become frnds based on almost nothing.Two guys can be friends just because they are guys.They don't need anything to start a conversation and sports is always there to talk about.But its not the same with girls.There you need to find the right words,right phrases and right timing otherwise forget friendship.
Studies have shown that men on an average think about sex once every 10 seconds.That is true to a lot of extent.We don't have a lot of things going around in our minds.And frankly i can say i'm happy about it too because why do we need to think about other stuff which has got nothing to do with us right now.I for one love to live in the present.But things are not always what we would have liked them to be so people end up thinking about other stuff too.Which is fine as not everyone can be the same.
Well having written all this i am beginning to confuse myself too.Women are so confusing that even thinking or writing about them can confuse you.So before any of this goes in any other direction i wanted it to be i'll end it here and maybe come back later when im fresh of ideas.
So in the end all i would say is if you really love someone and you want to make that girl happy all you gotta do is spend time with her.Try to understand her feelings.Guess her mood by her expressions cause she won't tell you but she will be hurting inside no doubt.I guess i have made an effort at establishing the concept of women psychology though it aint even the beginning of it but that's all for now.......................................

Piece Of Mind

Although i have written on the lines of this topic before but you guys can take it as a continuation if you like.Well to begin with no matter what you achieve.what you buy,what you get yourself you can never be satisfied.Its not in human nature to be.They are always looking for more.Searching for more riches to somehow make them feel better,Somehow make them feel happy.But all the riches in this world can not buy real happiness.You continue your search for happiness everywhere you go in everything you do.But you never know if you're truly happy because what is happiness can never be fully defined.It's very subjective and indeterminable o say the least.You'll always be looking out for something.
But If you for a moment stop and say No I have had enough.I am happy as i am right now.I have found everything i ever wanted and everything i was looking for then what would happen to you.I personally believe that you would cease to exist.You no longer would belong to this world.You can in many ways become one with the supreme one.You leave all the riches here,everything you have ever gained to gain the biggest prize of them all.But we don't want that do we?We want to live in this world as it is here we have always belonged.Who has seen heaven?Nobody alive i can say.We live all our life in this materialistic world and here is where we die.So why should we want the riches of some other world.
Answer is very simple if you believe me.It's simply because nobody living in this world is happy with his or her existence.They are looking for ways to get out of the mess they are in.And only the riches of that other world supposedly can provide them with the exit.That's the view generally held by many.I for a change am a part of the crowd here.I agree with this point of view because for me its only in the holy aode can you really be content for once and for all in your everlasting life.No more running,no more hunting.This is the ultimate peace you can get and the only thing worth living for,worth dying for:)