LIFE SUCKS

LIFE SUCKS.....yes mine. Time and again I have come out to whine about how things in my life have never gone according to plan and I am left broken and shattered by the turn of events. Yes people may not like this attitude of mine and my constant cribbing but what am I to do? Things right from the time I remember have never happened the way I would have liked them to happen. The perennial shortage of friends that I could call my FRIENDS has been a major stumbling block. The oh so necessary education has always come with a rider. Not knowing what to do with what I have got. The lack of interest people have shown in me as if they are standing next to a statue. The need to have that special someone by your side. Whether you want to share your joy or your sorrow. All of this and much more that I have yearned/craved for but never got.

People might say that this is a familiar story, what’s new about you? Well I am not here to contest an election and decide who has the saddest life. I am here to write about my own travails. I am here to ask why the hell am I always on the short end of the stick? To this again people would say, grow up. Take it in your stride and move forward. We haven’t got all day to sit and listen to your sobs. But the twists in life don’t seem to end for me. It’s not that all of the pain and disappointments have happened at once in my life. I have had moments of peace and calm in between and been happy during those times. But time and again these situations arise that just knock the wind out of me.

I know that you have to accept what you get at times and learn to live with it. I know how to that. In fact that’s probably what I have been doing all my life. But my problems arise when an already bad situation deteriorates further. I might have accepted my fate. I might have taken it in my stride and moved on. But then something happens that takes the things to a new low and me along with it. I have that sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach where it feels that all I’m going to do is throw up.

Why does it happen to me? Why when I have shaken hands with destiny does providence come knocking and takes me straight to hell. It’s not in one area of life that I have problems with. If that would have been the case, I would have thought differently. But since these problems exist in all the domains I am beginning to feel heavy. I don’t know if I have the strength left in me to face these situations anymore. This continuous sapping of energy from my reserves is continuously eroding my inner strength.

Why? Why? I can’t seem to put a finger on why am I constantly facing these problems. Why things never look up for me and when they do, why they always change for the worse. Things changing for the better are something I haven’t experienced as yet. Why the people around me whom I value so much (you would have no idea how much) always go out of their way (unknowingly mostly) to cause that extra bit of pain. Have I wronged them in any way? Have I hurt them in some way that I don’t know and for which they are hurting me back?

All these questions are hanging around my head and I have no idea what their answer can be. I wrote in an earlier article that music is one friend that can never harm me. I got a comment that this is a wrong statement. But now writing this article, taking a line from THE WRESTLER – “its out here that I get hurt not inside the ring,” I can be 100% sure when I say it’s the people as FRIENDS that are always the real cause of pain in life………………