I have never seen you in that way

Ahh.... that kind of feels like a stab straight into the heart. A wound inflicted upon thee by thy own longing. A result of the feeling you so wanted to express to the person infront of you. But what do you get in return? A timid but terse reply - "I have never seen you in that light." Your expression of love turned away politely. Why does this happen? After the time you spent with the person. Even after spending all your time trying to listen, handle, solve their problems. Even after being or trying deparately to become a pillar of support for them. Why is it that they can not see your emotions? This is not to suggest that you did all this for your own need. You provided the support because you actually cared. You wanted them to be happy. You would have given anything and everything for that smile to remain. 

They do acknowledge your support and care. They are thankful for that and mean it from the bottom of their heart. But.....they had never seen you in that light. Period. For them you are the friend that would be always there for them. While you the wanna be Knight in Shinning Armour had by now developed those forsaken feelings that you never thought could arise are left to the torture of the mind. The mind- the fastest animal alive. The questions and answers popping in and out every minute. What torture do they put you through. You want it all to be over so you could have some peace. You finally decide to take the plunge and pour your heart out.

"But.... I have never seen you in that light." This is when it hits you. You fool of a KNIGHT. The biggest misinterpretator of all. What made you think she would be interested? Having been there for her for some time doesn't give you a right to impose yourself on her feelings. She needed a friend and you took it too far. You betrayer. You should be slain along with all the monsters that ever existed. Okay that was taking it too far. Coming back to normality. What does all this mean then? You could never have a chance? Or you could if you just tried it slowly for some more time. Maybe she will see it later and accept it. Maybe she will realise that i am wat she is actually looking for. Maybe she will come to me one day and say, "oh my handsome prince please never leave my side for i want you to be with me always." Bravo...bravo!! where's the award damn it? 

Yes you would be thinking along the same lines. But that was brought upon thee by thy own self. Your ambitions, your expectations, your feelings. When will you ever stop thinking about yourself? Selfish son of a gun. Try thinking about others once in a while. You fool, destroyed or at least jeopardised a perfectly good friendship. Why did you have to listen to your heart? Your mind is more logical and reasonable. Listen to it for a change. Please. Well what now you think. What to do? Will things be same? Will she turn cold? Will she talk? Who will i find now that she can't be the one? What will happen to me? Will I die alone? You feel like crying. Man where is that award? 

You ponder on the event. You think why did it happen the way it did. You talk around. You are not the only one. Many comrades have suffered the brunt of JAF- Just A Friend. You take hope. This might not be all that bad. You have company. There many like you, thinking and wondering. You delve deep into the never ending abyss. You reach a conclusion that satisfies your ego. You love your interpretation. The self obsessed narcissist pig has reached an explanation. She is wrong. She doesn't know the difference between right and wrong. I do. Ask me. Keeping this thought in mind the Knight jumps on his steed in search of new pastures where the grass is green. Forgetting the time gone by. He enters a new land. Beauty beholds and he falls in love instantly. He cries his heart out the next week to her and waits for her response. The lips part. He looks at them. They move to say something. But he is mesmerized my their movement and the words miss his ears. The last sentence gets registered though -"But... I have never seen you in that light."

P.S. - Please pass this on to all those who have been through this like this Knight - the brave son of a gun.